Help me be strong

[Whatdyknow]

Posted on other threads so not going to go into full story but needing help to find some strength tonight.
Stbx has been emotionally & physically involved with a colleague for far too long. He's not moved out yet & generally insists it's because he doesn't want to lose me. I've been saying for some time that he has to go as can't have both.
This week he's been so sorry and said he can't believe what he's doing. Said he missed me so much. I knew to ignore it but it just got under my skin. Tonight he's just said he didn't mean to be confusing. He's got to stay away tomorrow and there's no point in trying to reassure me about where. I said he'd been very cruel making think that he might be trying to make amends. I never said that it would be alright from my side btw. Why does it hurt so much. Just two days ago I wouldn't have even entertained him trying to get back together. Now I'm a complete mess again. I know this is no good but feel like I can't cope. We've been together for 23 years and this is so painful.

Anyone please?

I didn't want to leave you unanswered, so have a bump. It's not really clear what you are asking but if he is still seriously having any contact at all with the OW you have to be strong and just kick him out. Even if he, or you, entertain some idea of staying together it should only be after he's proven capable of being committed to you alone. Don't let him hang around enjoying two women, it's demeaning.

Have a look on chumplady, great site.

You'll be strongest when you are out of the relationship and no-one can play mind games with you.

Thanks for the replies.
@eoofwoofbaa I've read chunmplady's book but maybe need to reread now since I seem to have lost my strength.
@pog100 thanks. That's what I need- the reminder in weak moments that it's just not acceptable. I know really but get sucked in so easily. It's like my head just blanks what's happening and takes the slightest kind word as belief that everything's OK and nothing's going on. It's just so hard to hold the nightmare in my mind all the time but each time I believe it might work out OK I come crashing down harder and hate myself for falling for it all over again.