I'm too young to be celibate (almost!) right?

[ItsNotEnoughhhh]

I'm 24 and have been with DP (33) for three years now, the sex was great at the beginning with us both making the first move on each other. It's slowly dwindled to once every two weeks and it's progressively getting less and less.

I've spoken to DP about it and he apologies and says he feels stupid making the first move (wasn't bothered about making the first move at the beginning!) and has asked that I make the first move and tell him when I want it. I do tell him and he "forgets" or stays up with a beer by which time I'm too tired anyway.

We attempted it last night and he got too hot and bothered but still carried on - I could see he clearly wasn't enjoying it and asked him to stop. Now he's moping about calling himself useless and says he sorry. It's been like this for a year now, we don't even have any children yet!

We've just got back off the trip of a life time, a chilled, relaxed holiday and we only managed it twice then.

I've tried everything, not asking for it, not making the first move, making the first move, planning it... even dressing up.

We've spoken, he says sorry but nothing changes. Do I have to accept that my sex life will completely stop by the time I'm 25? Christ, that sounds like such a boring life if so.

I understand he doesn't need to have it as much as I do but I'm still human and want some intimacy?

@ImMeantToBeWorking He isn't on any pills, we eat well and he sleeps well. He doesn't have any stresses, as I mentioned earlier he works part time and earns around £80k a year.

He goes to the gym every day. I just can't understand it

Hmmm, if he is in the gym every day is he taking steroids by any chance? Even if he is not telling you?

Is he gay?

Another night where he'd rather stay on Xbox 😩

Is the Xbox a big time filler for him then? I was a computer widow in a relationship for a few years

It won't get any better, because he doesn't have the desire.

You're doing all the housework yet he works part time.

You're too young and can do better. Don't waste any more time... you're flogging a dead horse.

Goodness me you're too young for all this! Get out now and start living your life before settling down etc is my advice!

I think you should ultimately leave. I have the same issue with my boyfriend and I know how hard it is to make the decision to leave when everything else is fine, but really it's not fine because he's not providing you with the intimacy you need. That's the conclusion I've come to and I why I think I need to break up with my boyfriend. :(

Porn hound I bet! He'll deny it but he'll be whacking it out on the reg and probably has a specific kink. Ditch him, he won't improve.

You’re so young. You have very mismatched sex drives. Sex is important to you. You have nothing else tying you together. Leave!!!

I stayed too long in a relationship where ex had a much lower sex drive (or wasn’t that in to me). It was frustrating but more importantly it really knocked my self esteem. Left after 10 years in my late 20s.
With DH it’s been 14 years and 3 kids and we are still very into each other and both initiate and want each other and it continues to be a pleasure and bonds us as it should. Some people think leaving a relationship because of lack of sex is short-sighted if everything else is right but I think those must be the people not that into sex.

I was in your shoes. My ex was a committed pornwanker who had no interest in sex with me. When I was preparing to leave and took sex off the table, he announced I had no right to deny him sex when he wanted it . It might be mismatched sex drives. He might be addicted to porn. He might just be a contrary fucker. Whatever it is, you're not happy with the situation and it's a miserable road to walk down. You will just grow more and more unhappy. It's okay to end it.

I’d leave now. Because this is indeed how your sex life is going to be for the rest of your life . Except it will get worse.

And I’d also leave because you do all the housework AND more paid work as well. And if you ever have kids, guess who is going to do all of the childcare, housework and paid work then ?

Why does he only work part time when you are saving up for a house ? I’m assuming it’s not because he’s a carer for his elderly granny. Please don’t tell me it’s so that he can spend hours in the gym every day and then come home to play on the X box?

None of this sounds remotely perfect to me.

I've spent all morning crying and I have to admit, snooping. There's no sign of porn useage, no texts to sex workers or any dodgy messages at all.

If I'm honest, it's me that's stalling regarding the mortgage. Can I really commit to buying a house with someone who doesn't have sex with me? I've asked for another year to focus on my career and to save more towards my deposit. He's said "it will be our house, I want you to be involved completely".

To be fair, we discussed kids and we both want them but I guess that'll probably never happen without forcing viagra down his throat (light hearted, guys, don't panic).

I guess he's just not into sex, he's so open with his phone, we share the same friends and I've just snooped for the first time and there's nothing to be found...

Sigh

Forget all this stuff about steroids, gay, porn. Different people have different sex drives. That's it. The two of you don't match. That's not his fault and not your fault. You have a decision to make - is it important enough to end a relationship.

OP is there a reason you do all the housework whilst he works part time and you full time? Sorry but he just sounds like a lazy shit in every way. You are too young to be running around cleaning up after him and not having sex!

I dread to think what it would be like if you had children with him

@GlenPonder You're hilarious, my type of humour that 😂

Seriously, that's not going to improve. Leave before you have kids. It will be worse after kids and then you'll feel too bad about leaving because you want a shag. And stop doing all the housework!!

You're 24, fgs, ditch him and have a life.