I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years but separated for 15 of them with one child from that marriage, and I have another from a subsequent relationship. When we separated we sold the family home and just split the equity roughly down the middle. He’s been a brilliant father and paid monthly child support. I’ve never asked him for anything other than his child support unless there has been an exceptional expense, eg. recently we have split the cost of driving lessons for our child, but i’ve also reciprocated our very amicable arrangement with things like by gifting him my 5 year car rather than trade it in when his was due for the scrap heap. He’s also been a brilliant friend, as I hope I have too, and we remain close friends and co-parents. In the early years of our separation we would holiday together, and we’ve spent Christmases etc together, and will often go for dinner or days our together with both children. We’d both been quite happy with our separation and had discussed the benefits of pensions and in death service in the event of our deaths, and he had assured me that he would not separate the children if this was to happen (my younger child’s father is not with us). Just to be clear he is actually retiring in a few months and I don’t wish to make any claim on this pension now but we were both happy to know that the other one would be more comfortable in the event of the other’s death as we would each be entitled to a spousal pension.
I also (so I thought) continued to be a good friend to the extended family often running errands for his elderly mother, we’d chat on the phone and things were amicable all round. Or so I thought. His mother died last year and he was due to inherit and had mentioned his plans to buy a new house, he’d asked me to keep my eyes open for something suitable. But then seemed reluctant to view anything, saying he hadn’t got his ineritance yet although everyone else had. My older child has by now received his inheritance, and so I asked him why his Dad hasn’t and I’ve discovered he is fairly sure there is a clause in her will, that says he cannot inherit unless he divorces me. Does anyone have any experience of this? Of course I don’t want to create any problems for him in claiming his inheritance but nor was I planning to get divorced for the reasons I’ve just mentioned. I’m guessing due to the amount of time that has elapsed he’s not wanted to raise this but the conversation will have to be had at some point of this is the case.