Ending our relationship/marriage but have three children

[Greenmum2019]

Been reading this board for about 6 months and it's given so much strength. So thanks for that and for sharing your journeys.

This evening my marriage has ended.

My husband has been a coward and altho he has been honest about how his feelings have changed towards me he has been 'trying' and leading me on since November. I thought things had got better. But this last week he had started to be nasty, controlling and moody. And then Saturday he shouted at me in front of the kids. Saying you know I don't love you but you can't cope without me.

This evening I've confronted him and forced the issue. He refuses to decide on practical solutions or plans moving forward. But he can't seem to see how much this hurts me knowing I still love him.

I've just told him I can't live like this and he needs to leave me alone physically and give me as much space as I need to recover from this.

Right now I can't even begin to imagine him moving out. Or telling the boys. Or how I am. Going to cope all three of them.

I feeling like I am drowning.

I think I know deep down he hasn't been nice to me and has controlled me for years but it's hard to get my head around as I am. A strong person who is indeoendant. But I our relationship I'm weak and its like my opinion doesn't matter.

I don't know how to cope with this.
We've been together for 10 years.... Fell hard in love.... Married for 5 3 boys 6, 3 and 1. The youngest is disabled.

Well done for being brave enough to confront this and for standing firm. Any change will have its difficulties but it sounds like it will be worth it.

Next? Think about what you want in regards to his access, money, where you will live. Sort out the practicalities then ask around about good solicitors and make an appointment. Check out benefits you are going to be entitled to. And be nice to yourself, get as much support as you can from health visitors etching, family and friends. You and the kids will be fine and happy, and hopefully he will do his part and be a good parent.

Thank you.

I'm sure he will be a good dad.... But he has changed a lot so who knows.

We own a house together and he mainly works.... I'm my sons carer and work part time

The house was brought with.money mum parents gave me... So I'm hoping he will not request any of that just half the equity if we sell. But think he will. Want the boys and me to stay here..... He won't want to uproute them...

How long do you think it would work with him here in the house with us? I just don't feel strong enough to tell the boys and deal with their heartache too

Oh you poor thing. Deep breaths. You will not only manage - you will come through stronger and happier. Tonight just focus on letting it all sink in x

Morning... Thanks for your support last night.

I didn't sleep much at all.

I've woke this morning hearing him leave without a goodbye or even a bye to our youngest son who he didn't see at all yesterday.

I said to my eldest did daddy say bye he said quickly no kiss and rushed away.
He then said but I know he still loves me. He always will!! They know nothing about it all but so clever sent they, he is 6!

Now I've woken and put eye gel on I feel a bit better.

Should I try to get my hair cut to make myself self feel better or will he think I've done it for him?

I'm not sure how long we can live in this house together apart. Already I'm seeing him for who he is...