Full disclosure: I tend to be a bit of a doormat which I am trying to stop so would love some more rational opinions.
DH works full time, and he works very hard with lots of overtime and travelling. I work part time. We have 2 DCs under 3 years old. I do 95% of all the house chores so all shopping, washing cleaning and also do all the admin making sure bills are paid, insurances are renewed etc and sort childcare, kids appointments. I do all the night wakings( of which there are many!) and DH and I take turns to have a lay in on the weekends and he sometimes lets me have an hours sleep in the morning before he goes to work if it’s been a rough night. He’ll also help with bath time and dinner time when he’s there- wash up bottles and a few bits around the house.
DH stays away a fair bit for work so I’m often on my own with the kids. He’ll have them on his own if I have a rare night out but I have to get them down and settled to bed as they won’t settle for him.
DH has a tendency to be a bit selfish in the past I.e leaving me in tears with a screaming 3 week old DS1 to go on a night out. But has improved a lot in the last few years but I can’t help but feel that he’s maybe taking the piss a bit still. On top of this he’s becoming really impatient with me and the kids, getting snappy and making mean comments sometimes as “he’s tired” i think he’s just not used to how much hard work they can be! I’m at the stage now where I either put up, or stand up for myself and to get the strength to do the latter I feel like I need more confidence that I have a fair point which I’m hoping you can help with. DH can be very confrontational when challenged to I need to get my own head straight.
I know DH works really really hard, but I work too two days a week and care for the children, burden all the responsibilities of keeping the house running. Also from my point he’s working away getting nice meals in peace, having a few beers and a full nights sleep!
Is this a fair/ common situation and I need to get on with it? What do other people do?
(Please be gentle I’m new here)