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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Complex ending to a relationship - help please

5 replies

whattodonext09 · 28/01/2019 10:23

I think my relationship is coming to an end. It has felt that way for a while but only now have a started to acknowledge my feelings. My partner, doesn’t feel like a partner, but rather 2 unequal’s and I am certainly not being fulfilled.

My biggest worry is the impact on my daughter. Due to her age, she has only ever known what life is like me and my partner, she is a good step-mother to her, a role model and they care for one another greatly. It is not like when I separated from me wife, she is still in my daughters life, yes things are different, but she still has her. It feels like if we separate, I have no idea how to manage the emotions of a 5 year old, and I don’t want to damage her. Am I basically just cutting her out of my life?

I am also concerned about the other family that she has inherited, my partners parents love my daughter like their own granddaughter, it will also hurt them. I also don’t want to lose this family either, as it gives me something I have never had either.

I really need some guidance.

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 28/01/2019 10:39

Have you discussed your feelings with your partner?

whattodonext09 · 28/01/2019 10:43

@Lozzer

We have discussed some of the issues in our relationship. She knows that I am not happy about things. Whether this unhappy

OP posts:
JMC27 · 28/01/2019 16:11

To me you Im not sure if you sound convinced that you want to end things. It is a big step to take if you are unsure.

Coffeebeans1 · 28/01/2019 16:46

I’m in your DPs position. I’m a SM of young DCs and have been for as long as they can remember, and I’m not going to lie the thought of it all terrifys me.

Whilst my DP has spoken to me, I don’t think he is being totally honest with his feelings. Whilst I love my DP and DSC I wouldn’t want him to be with me, if it was just for the DC, as this isn’t fair on anyone long term. What will be, will be and we all have to deal with it.

The one thing I think with my DP is that he isn’t sure, and as PP said you don’t either. Don’t make a huge mistake and walk away, if your not, but also don’t let your DP keep thinking everything is ok.

whattodonext09 · 28/01/2019 19:23

I dont want to be in a relationship for someone and nor would I want someone else to be.

I know I need to be sure, but the big part for me at the moment about how I deal with it with my DC.

OP posts:
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