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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He daughter doesn't want him to date

18 replies

dollshousing · 27/01/2019 21:45

So slight follow on from my post yesterday about the radio silence from guy I was dating, everything was great, I didn't go back to his on the Friday night when he invited me and then heard nothing.. result is a message this evening basically saying sorry Hun for not being in touch, daughter had my phone yesterday and saw messages between us and got upset, I felt so guilty even though I know I shouldn't, just got back today from family meal and again she said please just just have us in your life.....so totally shit.

And that was it, not really sure what if anything I meant to say or what exactly he is trying to say

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 27/01/2019 22:13

How old is his daughter? Is he saying the relationship is off?

datingconfusion · 27/01/2019 22:19

He’s using his daughter as an excuse. If he was really into you, nothing would stop him seeing you! Find someone who deserves you Flowers

mcmooberry · 27/01/2019 22:22

Hmmmmm not sure what to think about this, can't decide if he is trying to let you down gently or if it might be true? Either way am very sorry that what started off so promisingly has seemingly ground to a halt, really disappointing for you but feeling so shit about it won't last xxx

dollshousing · 27/01/2019 22:27

14, I can't figure out what he's saying, half think he's saying it's off but also not sure because of the detail and he's not actually saying it

I replied just saying sounds like you had a bad weekend, hope Dd is ok it's tough situation for you all, hope your ok, again total radio silence despite being active just not read my message

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 27/01/2019 22:30

Is he a single parent?

Personally I don't like being in limbo. I'd rather tell him it's off and wish him all the best for the future.

Justmuddlingalong · 27/01/2019 22:36

I would wish him well for the future and move on.

richdeniro · 27/01/2019 22:40

My ex used her children as an excuse for cooling things down with me and saying she couldn't see me after we'd been seeing each other for 6 months.

She promptly got in a new relationship just a few weeks later and had introduced them to the new guy within a couple of months.

I would say that there is someone else on the scene or he isn't feeling it with you and is using it as an excuse.

dollshousing · 27/01/2019 22:41

He is 50/50, it's never impacted on his time with his children and I wouldn't expect it to

OP posts:
Boysandbuses · 28/01/2019 04:54

Personally, I would just have to talk to him and see exactly what he means.

Lets say it is true. I have a 14 year old. No way would I let her dictate who I spend my time with, when she is at her dads. Surely there has been occassion when he has done something without her on his days. A work event or something. I wouldn't date someone who has to pass every move pass his children.

Has he only just split with ex?

LEMtheoriginal · 28/01/2019 05:26

The big clue is that ypu didnt go back to his place on the friday.

Luky escape

Monty27 · 28/01/2019 05:29

Sorry for the cliche but give it a duck and miss the bullet

jessstan2 · 28/01/2019 05:30

Wait and see what happens. Leave it to him to contact or not. It's hurtful but it happens, his daughter is obviously not yet ready for her dad to move and is imagining all sorts of things that might happen - like you setting up home together. It's a lot for a 14 year old to take in.

If he really likes you, he'll be back regardless of daughter but take it slow. For all your sakes.

For now - get on with your life! He's not the only fish in the sea.
Flowers Wine Cake

dollshousing · 28/01/2019 13:10

Well not reply to y response in fact not even read it so no idea what is going on

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 28/01/2019 14:16

Hes had what he wanted and has moved on.

Flowers
NotANotMan · 28/01/2019 14:18

He's dumped you Flowers
The DD is an excuse

hellsbellsmelons · 28/01/2019 14:19

How did he have what he wanted.
OP states she did NOT go back to his on Friday!
Teenagers can be selfish assholes.
If he's not even reading your messages then I think it's all pretty clear.
Move on from this one.

NotANotMan · 28/01/2019 14:28

The idea that men lie to get women into bed then dump them immediately is really quite old fashioned and not reflected in real life in my and my friends' experience!
People (men and women) can dump people at any point for any reason, before or after sex. It's not worth trying to find a 'reason' when it's been a casual dating or early stage relationship thing because you probably won't get an honest one, as people want to spare feelings.
Oddly enough though most men don't dump women after sex if they enjoyed themselves. Most men would quite like to carry on having sex if they can!

LEMtheoriginal · 28/01/2019 14:33

Oh hells yes you are right. So he didnt get what he wanted...same result

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