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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Admitting it's over

2 replies

2019willbegreat · 27/01/2019 08:50

Summary: been with H 23 years. 2 young adult DC. Naice life on the surface. Me - history of sexual abuse (uncle), low self esteem , never felt good enough. Problems in relationship as H cannot discuss feelings, is borderline controlling, has told me that I love him more than he loves me (51/49%). I Turned to drink and was abusive to H on two occasions (slapped his face). Made a fool of myself on countless others.

He left to peruse relationship with someone he wanted to fuck 22 years ago but couldn't because I was pregnant. But I was a nightmare and don't blame him for seeking fun/solace elsewhere.

Relationship with other woman didn't work out (she wasn't me apparently) so he asked to try again and I said yes, soooooo grateful he was coming back) . He said he would change and show me he loved me, would try harder etc. But nothing has changed... I stopped drinking to avoid conflict but he is the same....can barely talk to me but happy to spend the night fawning over attractive women.

I know we need to split permanently. The relationship is dragging me down. So why can't I Just split for good?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 27/01/2019 09:00

If you asked your DD "Why are you still doing this?" what do you thinkn she would say?

2019willbegreat · 27/01/2019 09:06

@NotTheFordType....I've actually had a similar conversation with DD as her boyfriend kissed another girl...I told her she was too young to be messed about and not to put up with it.

My problem.is I'm 54 and cannot face dating etc but don't want to be alone. I think if I was 10 years years younger I would be more confident about going it alone.

OP posts:
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