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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fixing a relationship with SIL

2 replies

Blessthekids · 27/01/2019 00:43

My relationship with my SIL has never been perfect but in the last year it has deteriorated. She is quite a demanding and a strong character yet she can be charming and generous too. I always get the feeling she is competing with me but to what end I'm unsure, if I've done something, she's always done something bigger, smaller, better or worse. l am now unable to rise above it and hate the thought she might feel she's winning. As an adult I know this is lunacy and irrational. She came round recently and the atmosphere just felt tense and uncomfortable. I don't know how to turn this around. I have tried but nothing works. Anyone have any tips? I just need to get to a point where l can talk to her without feeling defensive and avoid being drawn into a passive
aggressive one upmanship contest.

Her relationship with her brother, my DH has also been rocky and often he doesn't want to see her or discuss her which doesn't help.

OP posts:
rainflowerstar · 27/01/2019 00:55

If your OH isn't bothered about a relationship with her then I wouldn't push for one either. Just be civil when you see her.

Blessthekids · 27/01/2019 09:28

Thanks @rainflowerstar. I do often swing from feeling like that to feeling I would prefer a more genuinely warm relationship.

OP posts:
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