So confused, in rebound relationship and keep thinking about my ex

[Indecisiveagain]

I was in a relationship for 7 years on and off with my ex. He was a lovely laid back guy who really made me laugh. We never lived together, we just spent weekends together. He wanted more of a commitment but i was happy as we were. After a few years he proposed to me and it all went downhill from there. (My previous relationship was with my ex husband who was very controlling and emotionally abused me for years, so i had made it clear from the start i wasnt interested in getting married again.) After that some of the things that i used to find funny just irritated me and i found him really annoying although i still loved him so much at the same time. I felt like i had another child to look after, but i wanted a man that would look after me not the other way round. So over the 7 years we split up so many times because we wanted different things. Also my son hates him but my daughter loves him! Anyway after about 10 times of splitting up and getting back together ( we both still love each other when we split up but cant live without each other so just keep being drawn back together) i was just so emotionally drained with it all i thought the only way to break this cycle was to call it a day for good and try and meet someone else. I was so desperate to get him out of my head i went on a dating site and met someone new within a month of our last break up. ( that sounds bad but we had only been "trying again" for a few weeks after being separated for nearly a year, before we both agreed it still wasnt working but still loved each other)
So now ive been with my new guy for 3 months and hes lovely, and hes an actual sensible adult and looks after me, but i just keep thinking about my ex all the time. I keep thinking about how much fun we had together and how much i miss him. I even miss his childishness . How can i ever move on if he's still in my head. I keep thinking i should end it with my new man and see if i can try again with my ex, but then what if he wont have me back now or what if it doesnt work again( he sent me a xmas and birthday card saying he still loves me and always will) Im just so confused, it just goes round and round my head all day and its making me ill and depressed and i cant find the answer. Please help me

I think you need to be single for at least a year. How would you cope with that? Get to know yourself and enjoy being in your own then when you are ready and not thinking of anyone else start dating.

I am not sure what you mean about being looked after but I would not expect a boyfriend of 3 months to look after me. Just wonder if you need to adjust your expectations and do the freedom program as it might help you recover.

I really think you need to be on your own for a bit. Getting into a rebound relationship could just end up in getting doubly hurt. I would end the new relationship, cut contact with the ex (at least for a bit) and really think about what/who you want.

I got into a new relationship straight after a long one and it’s caused me all sorts of problems, if I could go back in time I would just allow myself time to heal. I hope you find what makes you happy.

When i say look after me, i mean someone that is sensible and i can rely on to help me if im ill anything. I did rush into this new relationship but i couldnt think of another way to get my ex out of my head. We had split up for a year before and still ended up back together. Whats the freedom programme you mentioned?