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Original poster

I feel like my dp is cheating

29 replies

Germanicus · 26/01/2019 20:48

and I don’t know why.

Long story short, dp and I have been together 3 years and were very much in love. Going through a rough patch that started around 6 months ago.

It hit me right out of the blue. We were on holiday in Venice and told me he had chlamydia, and so I needed to get tested. Turns out after a month of further probing, he had slept with someone once whilst very very drunk and annoyed at me.

I took me around another month to decide to forgive him and to rebuild things. Things are getting better. He begged me and promised me the world for me to forgive.

Tonight I spoke to him on the phone, and I just have a terrible feeling. I have zero proof, but I just feel something has happened.

Am I crazy?

OP posts:
BuffyFlanket · 26/01/2019 20:49

No, instinct can tell you a lot.

sollyfromsurrey · 26/01/2019 20:50

You aren't crazy. Either he is cheating and you've picked up some subconscious clues or he hasn't but his earlier infidelity has caused you to imagine it. Either way, he is responsible.

Beachtimeyay · 26/01/2019 20:50

He cheater once and that's when you should have ended things.

He probably the is you're going to give him another free pass when you find out again.

Beachtimeyay · 26/01/2019 20:51

thinks*

Original poster
Germanicus · 26/01/2019 20:51

I’m just sat here, heart racing, in tears Confused

OP posts:
Moominfan · 26/01/2019 20:56

Happened before now you know the signs, trust your gut

Japanesejazz · 26/01/2019 20:59

Until women leave the first time their partner cheats on them every time, men will think it is acceptable to cheat.

SuziQ10 · 26/01/2019 21:01

Your instincts could be right. What are you going to do?

MMmomDD · 26/01/2019 21:02

Who knows if he is cheating this time.

But that at 2.5years in, after an argument, he slept with a stranger without protection and picked up an STD?!!! 😳😳
And you stayed with him?

It’s one thing when people are married for a long time, have kids, and separating is difficult.

There isn’t anything that prevents you from picking up your self esteem and finding a better man. Someone who would resolve disagreements by talking and NOT sleeping with strangers.

As to the feeling you got right now - could be right or wrong. No way of knowing.
But....
This will keep happening if you stay with him. You don’t trust him. And for a good reason.

bastardkitty · 26/01/2019 21:06

He's completely untrustworthy. That's why you don't trust him. It doesn't matter whether or not you are correct at this precise moment. It's fine to end a relationship because the person is not deserving of your trust.

yetanotheropinion · 26/01/2019 21:35

Have you had an HIV test, too? He's a rat. You shouldn't ever have to sit with your heart pounding, feeling scared. Move on to better things.

SpeedyBojangles · 26/01/2019 22:02

A very easy LTB. Even if he isn't cheating, you obviously can't trust him anymore, and with good reason.

Sorry OP Thanks

Original poster
Germanicus · 26/01/2019 22:06

I still do love him weirdly. I think what I’m most scared about is never being able to find someone who has the whole package like him.

OP posts:
AskMeHow · 26/01/2019 22:08

The whole package?

A package of lies more like. You deserve better.

Original poster
Germanicus · 26/01/2019 22:10

I should also add that my dating pool is much much smaller... I’m Jewish and personally only want a Jewish guy, it’s tough

OP posts:
SpeedyBojangles · 26/01/2019 22:12

It doesn't mean you should settle for someone who cheats on you and risks giving you STDs!

southernetter · 26/01/2019 22:15

So he basically blamed you for him getting chlamydia because he said he did it when he was annoyed with you Hmm He doesn’t sound very nice OP and your instinct is telling you something. I wouldn’t invest anymore time in him if I were you. If you had a daughter would you honestly want them to end up with someone who treated them like that? You deserve better.

LizzieSiddal · 26/01/2019 22:16

So because you want to go out with a Jewish person, you’ll put up being treated like shit?!

He cheated on you because you’d annoyed him, caught a STD and told you whilst on holiday, so you couldn’t actually get checked out straight away or get away from him?!

He sounds such a Prince Hmm

Trust your gut, it doesn’t matter where this feeling is coming from, but it’s telling you to leave. You deserve so much better.

Smellbellina · 26/01/2019 22:18

If you want a happy life, dump him.

LizzieSiddal · 26/01/2019 22:25

And what happens the next time he gets angry with you? Will he be off again?

misskiki69 · 26/01/2019 22:27

How can he be the whole package when he cheated and confessed to having an STD? He probably only told you he'd. Heated because he had the STD. How do you know it was only the once? He seems very far removed from the whole package to me.

CheeseRolls · 26/01/2019 22:28

Have a possibly small dating pool isn't a reason to stay with a cheat.

I'm sorry this is happening but have respect for yourself and don't look for reasons to ignore this.

Shit marriage and dating pool. Totally unrelated facts.

YogaWannabe · 26/01/2019 22:34

He’s revolting! Surely being single is better than being with that?!

SevenStones · 26/01/2019 22:39

Well you got the whole package right enough, even down to a sexually transmitted disease.

Not the package I'd want!

Sisterlove · 26/01/2019 22:40

I've just done a quick Google search and seen a few Jewish dating sites, but even without them, why put up with a cheater.

If you believe the first time he cheated was with unprotected sex and he got an STD you're quite naive.

It took him a whole month to tell you only after you kept pressing him on it. He doesn't respect you and his promises of giving you the world if you forgave were short lived.

What's your dealbreaker OP?

What happens next time he's annoyed with you?

You're forgiving is basically a green light to do it again. Even with the shame of having to get tested because he screwed around, you're going nowhere.

If I was him I'd feel it's fine to cheat again.

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