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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it a proper relationship if I only see my boyfriend at the weekends

11 replies

Petals23 · 26/01/2019 13:57

I posted before about my boyfriend of two and a half years deciding to sell his house and move an hour away. We only see each other at weekends now where previously he lived close by and we popped up and down to see each other during the week. Is anyone else in the same position and can a relationship survive?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 26/01/2019 14:02

Of course it can, if you're in the "only want a weekend relationship" group.

If you want to move in with someone, best look for someone else.

FlagFish · 26/01/2019 14:05

When I had been with now DH for a similar length of time, he went to live in Paris for two years! Of course it's still a proper relationship if you want it to be. We got engaged while he was still out there and have been married for 15 years now.

IceCreamSunday87 · 26/01/2019 14:38

I can't believe you're still with him. I remember your other thread.
If it's not working for you and you are no longer happy, cut your losses, end it.
Life is far too short.

Parthenope · 26/01/2019 14:39

I think I remember your other thread, too, OP. I would say that where he lives is the least of your problems.

Dvg · 26/01/2019 14:42

normally i would say its fine but after 2 years definitely not... sounds like a 3-6 month relationship. after 2 years i would be looking at moving in together and after 3-4 getting engaged and 4-5 Getting married and starting TTC .. that would be my ideal although me and my partner did things other way round,

1 year = moved in
2 year =got engaged
2-4 year = had a baby and married with another baby on the way

SuperSuperSuper · 26/01/2019 15:11

It's absolutely fine just to meet up at weekends. Lots of working middle-aged people with kids from previous marriages have this kind of thing.

Not in your case, though. I remember your other thread and I don't think he's the man for you irrespective of how you match your diaries. Sorry OP.

NameChangeNugget · 26/01/2019 15:16

Sounds like perfection to me. Best of both worlds.

Littlefish · 26/01/2019 15:17

My now DH and I lived an hour apart for the first 4 and a half years of our relationship, until we got married. We spent every weekend together, either at his or my house (more usually at his). We've now been married for 17 years.

It doesn't have to be an issue if the relationship is a good one.

Petals23 · 26/01/2019 20:25

We see less of each other now than we used to though. He made a decision to move away, now he's going on holiday without me as time of year didn't suit me. I feel we're leading more independent lives in a way

OP posts:
Villagelifer · 26/01/2019 20:39

The problem is not seeing him on weekends. It works for many who can only see each other at weekends, even less often.
The problem is that, from your other thread, he's not bothered about spending time with you or not. He moved away without even talking to you about it. That doesn't work.

unique1986 · 26/01/2019 20:57

Some guys wanna go out with their friends on a Friday or Saturday.
So just about manage a day/evening with a girlfriend.
So if it's longer term you make them stop seeing other friends?
Not fair but some guys have lots of friends.

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