Anyone else admit to not being able to shake their exes from their heads?

[tiddlypops]

Divorced for 3 years (not my choice) and cannot seem to shake my ex from my head (very long marriage). Will this ever go??

It will, but you need to give it time. Is there anyone you can talk to IRL ? Because that will definitely help.

Banging someone else will definitely help too. As the saying goes "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"

I was with my ex for over 8 years.
I can’t lie, it took me 7 years to get to a point where I can hand on heart say that I am completely and utterly over him/the relationship.
During this time I’ve met and been with the man of my dreams too! It’s funny the way the heart works. I rode it out trusting that eventually I’d work through it and I did. You will too!

Yes me. 10 years since we split & I still think of him. I'm in a long term relationship but will never get over the pain of my divorce.

Me too. Five years and I still cry after he's picked dc up, or if I see him and ow together (well she's not ow now, she's his legitimate partner, but you know what I mean).

I’m 5 months post divorce, 2 years post separation; I didn’t want divorce. He still pops into my head daily but only briefly, and I have noticed that the feelings towards with him have changed. But yeah still think of him. Haven’t dated at all in that time (just wasn’t ready) but feel more and more it’s something I want to do now.

Just takes time. I'm a year down the road after 14 years together. wish I never had to see him again. But we have the children. I just stay low contact as possible. I know I need to move on and meet someone else. But I just want my old life back.

I know further down the line it will pass. But I never wanted this

@eve34 That is me to a tee. I'm a year down the line too and I still cry and feel desperate. I honestly think I'm still in shock (colleague affair - standard 😡).

It actually reassured me to hear others still feel the same pain. Like I'm not alone and that my behaviour and feelings aren't abnormal.

@Thornbirdsong I know deep down I should think about getting out there and building up to dating. As I am sure that would make a real difference but I just don't want to. And the children need me right now.

We will get there.

Same here. 20 year marriage ended nearly 4 years ago, divorced for 3 years. 3 adult children. He's just moved in with someone he met about 14 months ago and phoned me on Friday to say they are engaged. I was surprised how much it hurt to hear that. We parted amicably - just didn't enjoy spending time with each other and neither wanted to put the effort into reconnecting. But when he moved in with someone and now is marrying her less than 4 years later - yes it hurts!

However, anger is slowly taking over as our children are not happy at all. They feel its way too soon amongst other things and he's been rather insensitive in how he told them.

I'm lucky - I have a boyfriend who the children think is great, mainly because he doesn't try and be part of an existing family. He likes them and spending time with them and they like him being around but we will never live together or get married or anything (I think I just shuddered thinking about getting married again!)

Me too. He's a wanker. But I still miss him all the time

21 months since my exh left......we'd been together for 21 years - married for 16. I'm enjoying life without him as the last few years of the marriage were miserable, and I hate him for the way he handled the split, how he was through the divorce, and the way he treats the kids..... BUT I still think about him a lot - I don't miss HIM, but i miss what we used to have, I miss being a complete family, I miss the future we should have had together. And it's the little things like shared memories that you don't get to laugh about with them anymore - 'private jokes' that no one else would understand.

I think most people expect me to be 'over it' by now, and it's reassuring to know that it's normal not to be.........

Yep - and he's friggin' vile.
It's been 2 years and I still think about him and what he's up to with OW and all the others he's shagging.
It's weird. But there we go.
I'll get there.

3 months since splitting from 9 year relationship. I don't pine after my ex at all...it is just the anger I have towards him for being a lying and cheating shit. I think about the pros and cos of the relationship and whilst there were some good things, I was often very unhappy. So, he meeting the OW kind of did me a favour, but there was no reason to gaslight and emotionally abuse me for a year.

@pinkmonkeybird - just watch out for it hitting you like a ton of bricks further down the road. I spent a long time feeling like you describe, and am still angry with him, and feel like OW did me a favour - but once the divorce was done and dusted, i started feeling extremely sad, on top of the anger and everything else xx

@HalfMyLife you just hit the nail on the head for me!! I don't miss my ex at all but I miss/mourn what could have been. Our children are young adults, on the cusp of leaving home, we would have had some spare cash for the first time ever and the possibility of doing some travelling and fun stuff. But it hit home to me how little he thought of me about 2 months after we split - I messaged to ask how he was doing out of genuine concern - we hadn't fallen out just grown apart (he was in a flat, I was with kids in a house) and he replied: "I'm doing Ok - missing the children but not missing the dogs or you". I remember thinking - that really showed what he thought of me - even lower than the dogs.