No more (biological) children

[Ella1980]

So I think I'm finally reaching the decision that I'll stick with my 8 and 11 year old boys eg no more children. I'm booking in a GP appt to enquire about the coil.

I'm 38 and live in a two-bed property with my amazing fiance who has no biological children of his own (his ex wife unfortunately was not able to have children).

Thing is, I can't help but feel a bit guilty for this decision. My fiance has always said it wouldn't be a dealbreaker but I know deep down he would love his own child.

The harsh reality is though that I feel we simply are not in a financial position at the moment to even consider it. Yes we may possibly be in years to come but then our age will be against us.

I just don't want either of us to have regrets?

Any words of advice gratefully received

Ella

If you're 38, it's probably now or never. I know some women can go on into their 40s and still be fertile but you can't rely on it.

You're right. The reality is we just can't afford it. It's harder for my fiance I think having had no biological children of his own but I guess he has to accept circumstances.

Tell him he's free to leave if he wants children of his own and you won't hold it against him.

We've had the conversation. He would love a baby with me but accepts it's not really possible. I feel really sad for him but not a lot we can do (except win the lottery!) Thing is, there are no guarantees in this life. Nobody can say with 100% certainty they can have a child (as well he knows, bless him). We may consider adoption one day if we find ourselves in a financial position to do so.

You could have a baby but then the relationship may be put under strain because of financial commitments? You dont have to have biological kids to be a dad. He has your boys perhaps he can be fulfilled being step dad to them? Assume he gets on well with them?

Biologically yes you're right, we probably could. But financially we couldn't as there are four of us still in two-bedroom rented accommodation with no chance or getting on the housing ladder. My divorce settlement was appalling 😢
He loves my boys to bits and is a superb stepdad but unfortunately they are only with us for half of the time.