No intimacy

[dibdabbers23]

I'm thinking of leaving my DP. We haven't been together two years yet, he lives with me. He hasn't initiated sex for over a year and when i do it is a very quick get it out of the way affair. Its making me feel awful, low self esteem, unattractive and makes me question his reason for being here. Is it just convenient?

Break up and find someone who wants what you want.

Yes im coming to that conclusion.

Not good if less than 2 years fizzing out already perhaps its just run its course? Or could there be another reason a medical problem? Do you cuddle kiss and get on well generally ?

He says its due to a previous relationship and she wanted sex constantly and it put him off completely. I don't know whether that's the truth or he just doesn't fancy me in that way. Ive asked him to go to the doctors, counselling etc but he won't. I'm becoming resentful now though, i think it's doomed. For example If he says morning gorgeous i just think why are you even saying that?

I would wager his previous partner just wanted regular sex like you do but he's just not that into it

Quite possibly. I have so much going on right now that part of me thinks just put up with it until your in the right place to deal. with the break up and the other party of me thinks forget this .. Thanks for your thoughts, much appreciated

I am literally going through the same thing right now.

We have been together for coming up to five years. And I can count on one hand how many times we’ve had sex in the last two years! I am 27years old, I love him but it’s been so long now I am starting to not not feel attracted to him anymore.

It’s very easy to say just leave and cut your losses and run and find happiness elsewhere, but with all the odd jobs about I wouldn’t know where to start either!

Hope you find your happiness, it’s a crappy situation when one half has no libido it really does lower your self esteem

Wishing you lots of luck xx

So sorry to hear that @cassie2012, i hope you work it out. Do you feel bitter because I am really starting to and if im not careful if we do break up my bitterness will over shadow the route cause.

I hear you @dibdabbers23. I think it has left me somewhat bitter yes, at the beginning of most relationships the sex is great and regular! But obviously as we all know the honeymoon period fazes and it just becomes relationship sex, but does that mean that we just put up with that? I don’t know, I wouldn’t say I have an abnormally high sex drive but it is nice to feel wanted and sexy isn’t it every now and again, I don’t think we’re asking for much. Our relationship are in the new stages and although I am sad to hear that your unhappy in a way it’s nice to know I’m not on my own as I’ve felt I’m obsessing over it at times.
As women with girlfriends we all have a chat about ou sex lives and I’m always really embarrassed as I never have anything to input! Do you have friends/family to talk to about it?
Also I know you mentioned counselling/therapy. Was this an ultimatum or just a sort of passing comment? X

Would he mind if you took care of yourself?

I do, i dont think he notices.

For example If he says morning gorgeous i just think why are you even saying that?

It is possible to say things like that and even be affectionate (not intimate) out of love or even just being nice. Not all men say such things to get us into bed.