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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do 😔

20 replies

FREYASMUMMY2015 · 24/01/2019 18:30

I split up with my boyfriend on new years day. We were supposed to be getting married at the end of the yer and I am absolutely devistated I love him so much. Basically. He walked out on me after we had been arguing becUse he was accusing me of thi gs all the time that werbt true I couldn't even look at my phone and he would be questioning me. But after he left he was ignoring me and when we did meet. Week later he made it clear he wanted to be on his own so I went back on my Facebook and changed. My profile to single to start to try and get over him and move on. He then came down a week after thag and thi gs were looking good. Then that night he messaged me asking me why am back on FACEBOOK and why its single so I said I needed to try and move on after u made it clear. But according to him I was talking to lads and sleeping with them. The next day he messages saying he was sorry he over reacted but I had every I tention of speaking to other guys and he dosnt know what to do. Even tho I never. I even said am. Willing to take a lie detector test to prove it but he's having none of it. I hate this. I havnt done anything yet he's making out like I am the one who caused all this. I really don't k ow what to do I love him and would love nothing more to work it out but how do I get somone to talk to me who dosnt belive a word u say e en tho after evrything he done in our relationship and I forgave him. And he can't give me the same decency

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 24/01/2019 18:33

Alarm bells!!

He's controlling and abusive, and using this fabricated sorry of his to get you dancing to his tune....

Run for the hills!!

PositiveVibez · 24/01/2019 18:39

Thank your lucky stars you never married this paranoid control freak.

Block him on everything.

Move on with your life and find out what it is like to be with someone who treats you as an equal, with love and respect.

Lozzerbmc · 24/01/2019 18:46

Dont waste your time engaging with him. Make life easier for yourself and move on

donajimena · 24/01/2019 18:48

You'd have had a dogs life married to him. Watch out. He'll be back.

Tenpenny · 24/01/2019 18:48

Has he ever cheated on you...?

Too much hard work, tell him its over and move on.

ASAS · 24/01/2019 18:48

Don't marry him.

DO NOT MARRY HIM

(trust us old birds who spot them a mile away)

NameChangeNugget · 24/01/2019 18:50

You’ve had a lucky escape.

He sounds horrendous

Spam88 · 24/01/2019 18:50

Oh OP, I understand that it's hard and you love him, I've been there! But he's abusive and things will only get worse if you stay with him. You've done the hard bit of finishing with him in the first place, now you just need to stick to your guns.

FREYASMUMMY2015 · 24/01/2019 18:53

Thanks everyone I know it wasn't the perfect relationship but I saw the good side of HIM and he is truly a good man he just has demons like us all but I was his outlet obviously. I have had such a bad time when it comes to love and relationships. My daughters dad cheated on me and then I had a stalker. And now this. X

OP posts:
ErickBroch · 24/01/2019 18:58

He is incredibly controlling, this can not end happily. If you don't keep away from him now you will regret it soon. Wishing you strength!

MumsyJ · 24/01/2019 19:00

He's seriously messing with your head. Tell him to get lost and thank your lucky stars the wedding was called off. Bin him and learn to live without an abusive and a controlling weirdo!

Lozzerbmc · 24/01/2019 19:00

I dont think everyone has demons do they? Dont excuse bad behaviour. Find a good man, they do exist

pog100 · 24/01/2019 19:03

Do not interact with him in any way, he is bad news. So were your other relationships, so it might be with doing the freedom programs to figure out why? It may just be bad luck but some of your thinking on this thread worries me.

Omzlas · 24/01/2019 19:03

You've dodged a bullet OP

Please PLEASE don't take him back because it won't get any better

FREYASMUMMY2015 · 24/01/2019 19:27

I know how I must sound u would be saying the same thing if it was anyone else but its so hard and am finding it difficult. I really did love him.

OP posts:
Tenpenny · 24/01/2019 21:25

A Truly Good Man wouldn't obsess over you cheating on him.

louisejanep · 24/01/2019 21:54

I’ve just come out of a 10 year relationship with the father to my DD. This all happened in the beginning of my relationship being only 18 at the time I didn’t see the alarm bells. Let me tell you from experience it get worse. We split up just before Christmas and after treading on eggshells for years, being shouted and screamed at in front of our 3 yr old, locking me in a house and smashing my phone up, withholding money from me. And a lot of psychological damage I’m having to start counselling to get my life back on track. And he’s still controlling me now even though we have separated. And because I have been conditioned to feel guilt I still feel a little bit (nowhere near as much as I originally did) of guilt for leaving. Please get out for your own sanity

FREYASMUMMY2015 · 24/01/2019 22:06

Am really sorry to hear that happened to you. I Know thi gs would never Change I guess I was holding on hoping that he would change. I just wish I could find that somone who will be good to me.

OP posts:
Tenpenny · 24/01/2019 22:31

Stay single for a while Op and spend time being good to yourself. Grow confidence and esteem in yourself and you will attract a good character. Build healthy boundaries

FREYASMUMMY2015 · 24/01/2019 22:41

Thank you am planning on it. Xx

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