Emotional affair that began from crush

[Confusedgal01]

Please be kind, ladies. A year ago I unexpectedly started crushing on a single colleague. He is very intelligent, unique and handsome, but also a commitment phobe and social butterfly.

After going out a few times (we started platonically as we are work colleagues), one afternoon at coffee we started making out and hooked up. After that he continued to text me and wants to continue a friends with benefits situation with no commitment.

I told my husband and we’re going for counseling. But deep down inside I’m enamoured with this guy, even if I know he’s going to disappoint me and let me down.

Should I just separate from my husband and let my poor husband go (he really doesn’t deserve this), should I work on my marriage, or should I leave a door open for this guy?

I’m sorry if the answer sounds obvious and I’m not seeing it — I’m completely in love with this unavailable guy and I can’t get out of this hellhole.

You kissed, hooked up and was fwb, but class it as an emotional affair?

Your marriage and this man should be 2 totally separate issues. If you don't have you heart on working on your marriage, then leave.

Forget about this man. What he does or doesn't do is irrelevant. Sort your marriage one way or the other.

Sounds more like a physical affair which you dont regret.i would say you should split with your DH as it is so unfair on HIM. No doubt you will regret it once AP dumps you but it's no more than you deserve.

Don’t try and underplay it by using soft language like crush etc.

Leave your husband, you’re not being fair

You’re all absolutely right... it’s a physical affair. I supposed I said EA because I find the EA bit to be more of a betrayal than the hookup.

You didn't just have an emotional affair. So do you want to try and work on your marriage or are you going to keep pining over a man you know will mess you around?

Your 'new love ' hormones are raging. You will literally be obsessed. Stop seeing this guy, Allie your body to rebalance. You will look back and think WTF was I thinking.

Infatuation isn't love, and don't minimse by saying it was an EA when it was physical as well. Your poor husband, well done for throwing a marriage away and betraying someone who loves you for someone who has openly told you they only want sex.

Only you can answer whether you want to work on your marriage, I'd be looking for another job if you do, but if you don't then be prepared for OM to disappear at the drop of a hat too because he's not THAT interested.

What made you have the affair? What did he give you that is missing from your own marriage? Is it genuine feelings are your part or the lust/excitement of being with another man. I'd get some counselling individually to find out what you want. Are there DCs involved? Be under no illusion about the OM he is in it for a bit of fun and nothing more.

This isn't an emotional affair - you've been sucker punched!

The fact that you're even considering "leaving a door open" means to me that you should end the marriage.

Your husband deserves loyalty and respect, not pity and a half arsed attempt at keeping your knickers on.

That's the truth if that's what you wanted.

Cut contact with the OM. Concentrate on therapy. Don't mess your poor DH about, he deserves more respect than that.

Emotional affair? OM is clear he just wants a place to park his cock when he's got nothing better on. Your poor DH.

Should I just separate from my husband and let my poor husband go (he really doesn’t deserve this)

Yes. You're absolutely right, he doesn't.

should I leave a door open for this guy?

This won't develop into anything long term. Let your husband go and find happiness. You can then go and screw around with whoever you want to.