Second marriages

[Ella1980]

I'm feeling really down tonight as my fiance and I have had to cancel our wedding venue today, we can't afford to get married at the moment.

Long story short, I find myself unemployed for the very first time in my life and so we just don't have the funds.

We were always going to keep things very low-key as clearly this time around we can't expect parents to contribute so would be funding entirely ourselves. We had planned for only about 35 guests, buffet lunch, no photographer, no bridal bouquet, no bridesmaids etc...

I guess the question for when I get back into work is, how cheaply in reality is even a small do going to cost? It would definitely be a civil ceremony we would be looking at.

Be great to hear some second or third (or maybe more) time around wedding stories.

Ella

My second wedding was way better than my first to be honest. It cost the grand total of $1500 and most of that was tent rental at the last minute as I discovered it was going to rain and my house wasnt big enough.
I cooked all the meat joints and froze. Did a turkey a ham and a beef. I did potato salad and a green salad and various guests asked if they could bring a dish. Ended up with a fabulous buffet going on. I bought the joints one at a time, cooked and froze then just defrosted on the day.
I got wed in the back yard with a justice of the peace, so I guess that would be a civil ceremony. Had a play list and speakers for music. I supplied the beer and wine ( its tax free in the next state up from me and is only 20 mins from here). Any other booze you brought your own. Ended up renting a marquis as it was going to rain but the tent came with complimentary tables and chairs.
I bought paper table covers and decorated with helium balloons and cheap fairy lights inside the tent. it looked beautiful. Rented a helium tank and blew all my own balloons up.
The $1500 was my dress ( not a wedding dress but a posh frock) my daughter posh frock. Posh shirts for Dh and my sons, a beautiful cake from a local baker but didnt ask for a wedding cake, just a rum cake and had it iced beautiful. I had a few white gladiolas instead of a bouquet. Looked stunning and took up the space of a bridal bouquet without the cost. I did get a small bouquet for my daughter but posy sized. I also had 2 tall thin fan shaped " arrangements" that I had on the buffet table. That was it for flowers. They took up more space and looked so much bigger than they actually were. It was also the food, booze and tent rental. The tent was $600. I has fairy lights round the poles of the tent on the inside. The balloons were in big clumps tied to paper covered bricks, in each corner of the tent and a smaller bunch on a smaller brick in the center of each table.
Everyone was there in jeans and flipflops, there were kids everywhere. So much fun and laughter.
It was awesome and even though it was a few years ago now Im sure it can still be done cheaply.

Mine was perfect but could have been done much cheaper.

Dress & shoes - 400
Officiant - free (a very good friend, not in the UK)
Venue - free (my parents’ garden, yes, it rained that day but we were able to pop outside for the ceremony and then back in when it got cold and started raining again)
Food - 1000 (my mum insisted on getting caterers and we did not skimp - 5 course meal with lobster, table service for 12 people - could have done a buffet for much less for many more people)
Champagne & wine - 250 (had leftovers)
Cake - free (awesome friend)
Flowers - 15 (supermarket)
Decor (posh napkins, candles) - 30
Wedding favours - 30 (posh chocs in tulle)
Rings - don’t ask, really expensive
Music - iPod

If we did it in the uk, we would have done to a registry office (cost varies but less than 200quid) and still had the reception at home. I loved having the reception at home. It was fantastic. We cleaned and tidied and moved furniture around a little. My parents have a 12 piece dinner service already so we didn’t need to rent that or cutlery or glasses etc. We did borrow a few plants from my brother’s house to make things a bit greener.

We did it this way (at home) because it was what I wanted, not for budgetary reasons. But we could have done the same for much less money and I would still have loved it. I did consider doing the catering myself (mum wouldn’t let me) but if I had, I would have used lots of M&S food (check out the entertaining section of the website, a bit different to what is in the shops) and had a buffet.

It sounds like the venue is the real sticking point for you. I strongly advise you to think about using your own home or your parents’ or a friends’s house as a venue. It makes it a wonderfully relaxed atmosphere.

Aw thanks so much for sharing guys-your weddings sound absolutely beautiful ❤
We've cancelled the venue today and have put everything on hold. Absolutely heartbreaking but we have no spare money at the moment.
Whilst I love your suggestion of getting married at home, our house is a tiny two-bed so it's not an option unfortunately.
Hopefully one day things will be different ☺

You can get married for £127 if you have a statutory ceremony. In my area the statutory ceremonies happen in a pleasant room with space for 12 guests. How much you then choose to spend on flowers , clothes and a meal can be tailored to your budget.

As I work next to the register office I see a lot of very simple weddings that look fab!

I live near quite a large park which is also near a busy registry office and in Summer there are quite often groups of people who are obviously having a wedding do with trestle tables and blankets to sit on. I think lots of them look as if they are bring a dish and a bottle so very low cost, but they always look like great fun.

Even better if you live near a beach.

I also went as a guest to a great reception where they hired the village hall for about £40 and we all had fish and chips from the local chippy. Again we brought our own booze. We played a few games - beetle drive etc and then had a boogie to an iphone playlist afterwards. TBH that was one of the most fun weddings I have been to.

I really don't understand why people want to spend a fortune on weddings. What the guests want is to spend the day with you and see you married. Everyone is very happy to contribute by bringing along food and drink, it makes it more personal than a formal reception. As it is a second wedding you could say that is in lieu of presents.

TBH I'd far rather go to a casual wedding with friends than a formal do where we are hanging around for ages for photographers and a formal dinner.

My second marriage cost less than £100 and was the best day of my life