Working away during the week - wanting to go to the gym at the weekend....me not him

[Whatdoesitmatteranyway]

ok, so I realised that I need to make a serious effort to lose weight (again).

20 years ago I lost 10 stone - and I've put it all back on again. and at 5'3'' that is not good - albeit I carry it better many. I'm a size 20-22 however for 21 stone at my height I should be a lot bigger - I've still got quite a bit of muscle from when I used to body build. But either way I'm currently a porker and I get that.

DH is behind me wanting to lose weight - has hinted I should go see about surgery however I 100% will not do that.

I know how to lose weight and for me its calories in vs calories out - and exercise. Mainly cardio combined with resistance. I suffer from PCOS and without exercise my metabolism slows down to bugger all which is how I've put it on - eating too much for a metabolism that doesn't work properly without exercise.

Now, here is the problem. I work away mon-thur so DH and I only get to see each other fri-sun. He;s off work waiting for surgery at the moment so that means he's home alone most of the week.

I wil be training Tuesday and WEdnesday for certain.

Thursday I can't do as I'm travelling home.

Monday I will try to do when I finish work however I'm up at 4am so by the time I finish at 5pm - I'm not sure exactly how awake I'll be but I'll try.

Which means I want to go at least two days outs of Friday-Sunday. Preferably three days but I'd be ok for two.

However I can hear him now. But we don't spend a lot of time together anyway and you want to spend it in the gym.

If I exercise I can lose weight eating 1500 calories a day.

If I don't exercise I struggle even if I each 800 calories a day.

I don't want to live on lettuce all weekend.

I'm not being unrealistic or unreasonable to want to go to the gym am I?

YANBU, 2 hours isn’t much time out of an entire day. And your weight is a health issue, so time for exercise and meal planning/shopping/prep is very important.

Weight loss is mainly diet yes, but the weight loss comes with muscle loss and then a lower BMR. Exercise is needed to ensure that weight loss is successful, the weight stays off and you can then eat a normal diet. Then after that muscle building to raise your BMR so you can eat more than others do.

TLDR - Not exercising with weight loss is increasing your chances of piling weight back on.

Early morning for 2 out of the three and a 5 k run the other day. Sorted and there's no better feeling than knowing that your decision is done and it's only 9am and you have the full day ahead. Sorted.

I work away Monday to Friday. I use the Les Mills app a lot as I find it very flexible. I do yoga or bodybalance on a Monday evening, run Tuesday and Thursday, with a cardio session Wednesday and Friday morning. Weekends I do go out for parkrun but that’s a family activity and the kids come too. I usually slot in a couple of home sessions from the app. I wouldnt feel right going to the gym, to be honest and I do get a good workout at home.

Of course you should go, my DH has always worked away a lot & I don’t see his role is to ‘entertain’ me when he is at home . Your DH sounds a bit needy, surely he can understand that you want to go the gym for the sake of your health. And does he expect you to spend the whole 48 hours together, don’t you have chores/friends/family etc to meet?

It’s only two hours in 24 hours, I’m sure he would survive. Does he not have his own interests or is he completely dependant on you and living in your pocket?

Surely your mental and physical health is important and a priority. He can do something for himself during those hours

Echoing what others have said but surely you can work out early and be home by 9am?! Gives you all day/evening with DH.

Swap your cardio for HIIT, you can cut your 40 mins cardio to 10 or 15 mins. But no you are not being unreasonable, it's a shame he's home a lot but you need time for you too & looking after your health & being happy in your body is 100% ok for you to do & want. Good luck with your training & diet.

Prioritise your health, 100%.

Obesity is linked with early death and he would miss you a lot more if you croaked.

You go Monday to Wednesday and maybe one early morning on the weekend. I work away quite a bit but usually commute (6 hours total in a day). Even if I’m up at 4/5am, I could still manage something after work and an early bedtime. I wouldn’t have anything else to do as no dh or dc to deal with. Make the most of you time away and occasionally a morning on the weekend. If you’re working out effectively, you don’t need to do it more than 3-4 days a week anyway.

Sleep in, then go

I think compromise, 2 hours is more than a reasonable gym visit. Is there anywhere closer or could you like other say, go for a 30 minute run from home.

Without meaning to be rude are you going to be able to do all that exercise straight away?

I don't really understand the issue. You don't have children, your time is free and flexible. A gym trip is a small portion of a day. Did he have day-trips or a full schedule of activities planned for both days?

You have all the rest of both days and evenings to spend together.

What would happen if a friend asked to meet you for lunch on Saturday? Just how much time are you allowed to be apart?

To my mind, you've got to do what you need to do to look after your health

@Starlighting888

It’s not rude but yes I can.

Even as a porker I I’m still reasonably fit. I’m lifting close to 50% of my max weights when I used to be a serious lifter.

In terms of cardio, the only thing I can’t do is run as it’s hell on my knees.

I’ve recently been swimming a mile a day twice a week and often walk 3-4 miles a day during the week on my lunch breaks.

Just not doing it often enough and eating too much!

That’s why it’s so frustrating.