Chemistry and passion vs friendship and laughter

[Senseiwu]

I have a man dilemma.

I've been seeing 2 different men for the last few months - both know about the other. It's getting to the stage with one of them that he'd like to take things further with me and to be honest I wouldn't be against it.

However my dilemma is that with this guy, things are so much fun, we've developed quite a strong bond, get on really well, make each other laugh - we spend probably 80% of our time laughing hysterically. But with the other guy there's an intense chemistry that I've never felt with anyone else and I'm completely hooked on him. We don't have a friendship beyond when we are actually physically together and we certainly don't talk and laugh like I do with the first guy. But the passion and lust is out of this world whereas with the first guy it's only reasonably good.

I have been married before - to someone with whom I had none of the above - so both chemistry and friendship are very important to me.

I'm in no rush, I have dc. These 2 guys are both good people. Passion man hasn't ever hinted that he'd like a committed relationship with me but is apparently not seeing anyone else (not fully sure I believe him). Laughter man is extremely keen on me and is also not seeing anyone else (and I believe him).

I do! It's just a much calmer affair than with passion man

IMHO you need both qualities in the same guy! it does exist, I'm living proof of that as I found the 'one' who is right for me. I had done the 'nice guy' thing- made me laugh etc had the best fun time ever - but didn't light up the bedroom. Also did the 'light up the bedroom guy' who was not right on all other levels- awkward!
Neither are sustainable - don't sell yourself short- you can get the whole package. By the way I don't think there is only ever 'the one'- some people believe in the concept of soulmate - I do to an extent - DH is that to me but if he died (bit extreme I know) I think given time I could have a satisfying relationship with someone else. Don't settle is my message.

Calm can be good. In every way laughing boy sounds great, but if you think you might get bored in bed, he's not the one for you.

I think the other one isn't the one for you anyway. He doesn't want anything more than what you have.