Have I missed my chance now?

[pinkybooy]

About 18 months ago I started to develop feelings for a woman.
This was new to me so didn't act on it and did my best around her to let her know I was straight.
She invited me to a few events and she made a effort to get to know me and she was deffo flirting with me.
I really liked her but was scared.
I started seeing a man and posted all over Facebook/Snapchat about him.
I was miserable with him and I secretly was crazy for her.
She is a good friend of my good friend but stopped trying to talk to me and invite me out (probably as I kept saying I'm straight etc )
In 2 months we are going away for the weekend and she's coming.
Have I missed my chance now?

Probably.

Drop her a text and invite her for a coffee. She has respectfully backed off as you’ve made it clear you’re not interested, so if you are you need to do a bit of the running.

You made it clear you were straight so therefore not a chance anything would happen. Then flaunted a bloke all over your social media and wonder why she has backed off?

If you want to pursue something with her, then you need to do the running. But respect her decision if she is no longer interested.

If a man messed me about like this, I wouldn't give it a go. I am sorry but you need to think really think about wether a lesbian relationship is what you want, begore you start pursuing her again. If you think you may get scared and do this again, just remain on friendly terms.

She never actually came out and said she liked me or anything.
I just got the impression she did by the way she acted.

She wouldn't though, if you were making it clear you were straight and in a relationship with a man.

So I've made a total pigs ear of that one haven't I.

She never actually came out and said she liked me or anything.

But you responded by saying you were straight? Surely that is quite an odd response unless she was being quite blatant in her attempts?

You can either leave it and see what happens while you are together or do most of the chasing now, but you'll need to be respectful either way because she may well have decided that this is too much hard work. A lot of people would hate to be messed around like this and it would tarnish it somewhat.

Best of luck.

First off, I think you would have rightly been a bit freaked out if she'd persisted and refused to pick up on your hints...so if you're secretly disappointed that in fact she didn't persevere, could that be a sign of your feeling the need to test whether she really is 100% committed before you take the plunge, which you see as being more daunting than investing in a new straight relationship would be? And of course you knew that at some point she would give up. So could that be a sign in turn that you set it up to fail in such a way that when she did eventually give up, you could say 'clearly she wasn't that bothered' rather than admitting 'I'm too scared to get involved.' (I could be way off the mark, apologies if so!)
Because there are no certainties in relationships and totally agree with Boys that you need to make sure you're ok with being in a gay relationship before you involve someone else.

In any case if you want something to happen I think the only way is to say frankly that you got spooked, you're sorry about that, but that you've been interested for a while and would she want to go on a date sometime.

If you made it clear around her that you were straight, then she probably wasn't flirting with you.

There's only one way to find out though!

Just say that ^^

Explain, be honest.

We met through a mutual friend and she invited me to her family's party after only meeting me twice.
When we were in the pub she was dancing with me and you know when you just feel something.
Then she invited me on a trip down south which I couldn't make.
She invited me to go to Glastonbury with her.
I think she was checking me out.
It's hard to know tho isn't it.
How do you know if someone just wants to be your friend or more.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath I didn't actually say I'm 💯 straight.
I just posted pics of me and the guy I was seeing and spoke about men I liked.
She was telling me that she was gay and looking for someone and just asking what I enjoyed doing and that she thought she would never meet anyone.

Is she an out lesbian?

Sorry, x post.

I reckon you haven't blown it completely. Go out for a meal or something and just let it flow. Is she seeing someone now or still single? Tell her how you feel, what's the worst that can happen aye?

She's a out lesbian yeah
4 weeks time we are going away for the weekend and she's coming.
About 7 of us for the weekend so I guess I can try and chat to her.

Look at it like this.
what would you have thought if you knew she was straight?
Maybe because you know she is gay you are misinterpreting her actions?
People get crossed wires all the time.

Yeah that's true.
I guess I would have assumed she was just nice and friendly.
Regardless i still like her.

A year on you still like her, that’s cute.Di you know if she’s still single? Think of it as just a weekend with friends and try to downplay your feelings so you can come across as the real you. If the conversation comes up about partners, say you’ve done a lot of thinking over the last year of who you are and what you want from relationships, take it from there. Be honest, life’s too short. Don’t mess her around though if you’re not really sure, not fair.