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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I want to leave..anyone else?

5 replies

Hooho · 22/01/2019 17:55

I feel trapped in a shitty relationship. He is emotionally destructive and petty. He ruins special days and normal times with his brand of moaning and passive-aggressiveness.

I've just had a baby and I can't justify we leaving whilst I'm on maternity leave.

I've also got feelings for someone else which I can't explore because of my commitments to this man who is nice only when it suits him.

What do I do? Has anyone been through this?

How long should I wait? The baby loves her dad she will miss him so much.

I don't know how long I can be unhappy for.

OP posts:
itiswell2019 · 22/01/2019 19:00

This reads like you have had your head turned and you are finding fault with your relationship. I am not by any means saying your relationship is perfect or that you are not justified to feel unhappy. All I am saying is if you want to leave , don't do it because you are dreaming of a happy relationship with a man you have no idea if it will work as the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Leave and concentrate on raising your daughter and focus on being happy as a single woman and every thing will fall into place.
Good luck Smile

Glosstwit · 22/01/2019 19:01

Your baby only has to miss her dad if he decides not to do his part.

You deserve to be happy. I'm not saying it will be easy. I'm not saying walking away will be possible. He'll always be a part of your life as the father of your kid. But you deserve better.

It sounds like it's time to walk away.

SuperSuperSuper · 22/01/2019 19:28

Leave if you're unhappy and the relationship is irretrievable. Don't go straight into something with the other guy though.

Original poster
Hooho · 22/01/2019 20:24

The feelings for the other guy is more of a distraction but he reminds me of the real me that has been lost in the relationship. I met him a few years and my feelings have slowly developed.

My oh is very resistant to change, even though he loves the baby. It's more like good dad, crap partner.

When do you know enough is enough though? What is my breaking point, I don't know. I wish I'd left before the baby but hindsight is 20/20.

OP posts:
Glosstwit · 22/01/2019 22:45

If you cry every day for a week, that's a pretty big sign

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