Nc with parents, are you happier?

[Lifeisnotsimple]

Ive no contact with my parents for over 5 yrs now, in that time we have had a son whom they have never seen but are aware of his existence. Even though i know i could not go back i do miss having the extended family unit and worry the impact it has on my son. How do others cope?

Situation is similar for my niece. She had met my father a few brief times but never related to him being her grandfather. She never asks any questions as to why she only has one grandfather, she is 8 so is more aware of situations and I don’t think It has impacted her at all. I think impact would be harder on your son having toxic relationships around him. Kids do notice dynamics of relationships. I think as long as he has loving people around him whether it be from your partners family or close friends of yours that’s all that matters. You’ve done a great job distancing yourself as it isn’t easy .

No. I am calmer though and feel better about myself without the constant criticism. So it’s worth it.

I had a period of ten years nc with dm, she flounced off without a backwards glance. Dc left a bit miffed to say the least. Had cause to contact her (about a legal matter), regretted it within a fortnight. I had had more dc and she was no better a dgm than previously. Ime a shite dm =shits dgm. Your dc is not missing out op. I have zero extended family, just dh +dc.
You will more than manage. Take a look on here at family feuds - a quite life is a good one ime /o!!

Yes I’m much happier. Never once regretted the decision.

Yes I’ve felt sad and guilty, but I know it was the right choice.

And I’ve protected my children from the abuse I suffered. I am proud of that.

I've been nc with my mother for over 35 years and haven't felt remotely guilty but I have felt a tiny bit guilty when it comes to my DD. My exh has a fairly large family so my DS hasn't really noticed the lack of family but my DP's family is small so the lack of family is noticeable at Christmas and birthdays. Both DC's know why their 'Grandmother' isn't on the scene and are fully supportive. They have no desire to meet her but know that should they wish to meet her then that can be arranged.
When they were younger then I just answered age appropriately and explained that the family we had loved us and that some family were not as nice and our happiness was not their aim.

It's difficult but the peace of mind is worth it. Family that abuse you are not worthy of being called family and do not deserve to be involved in your DC's lives. You go nc for very good reasons and by standing firm you show your DC that you have their interests first. A large family may be great in some circumstances but the family that you make with your own DC is what makes them secure and loved.

In answer to your original question - yes, I am happier being nc. I see my DB's stress at having to deal with 'mother' and know that I did the right thing. I also use my childhood as a template on how not to parent children!