Really not happy with partner

[GreenBanana321]

With him 7 years, 2 kids. I know basically all men watch porn but I just don't like him getting off on looking at other women. He's promised countless times he'd stop and then I'd find out again. He doesn't seem that bothered if we have sex anymore. I've snopped and not found evidence of porn but obv there's incognito. I've snopped a bit more and discovered he's watching sexy videos on YouTube everyday lately even when on his days off at home. I hate him a bit right now and I feel like I need to disconnect emotionally from him because I just don't like him after finding out the seedy stuff that he looks at. Are all men like it? I know I shouldn't have snopped but I now feel like I'm with a seedy man's man who leers at women whenever and wherever. What should I do

This may not be a popular view but I think that most men view porn regularly, especially younger men. If your sex life has dwindled he may have an addiction. If your sex live is active I wouldn’t be worried.

I think you need to talk to him. Explain that he’s making you feel miserable and that life in isolation doesn’t work for you, while he’s off in his fantasy world.
Is he bored with your sex life? Do you need to freshen it up a bit. Can you manage a dc free night once in a while. Is there anything you’d like to try together. Communicating & closeness, not just sex but things like massages and being kind to each other and a bit of irreverent fun might bring the focus back on you.

I disagree with the op that all men watch porn, they don't. Many are quite disgusted by even the thought of it.

It sounds as though your husband has developed a very bad habit and needs some help to quit, especially as he no longer shows much interest in real sex.

It's horrible, what would happen if one of your happened on a video or picture and knew it was his/her dad's? Hardly sets a good example.

This must be addressed, GreenBanana, please take some advice from people experienced in this area and do talk to your husband who may be demoralised and unhappy.

Honestly you had two kids and you have resorted to snooping on him, do you have a good relationship, or any type of sexual relationship?

We're a good team we work well together in general with everything but we've always clashed when it comes to porn. Ignorance is bliss then? If I never snooped then I'd never know but we only have sex about once a week and that's me initiating. And now I've discovered the sexy YouTube he views daily

He used to have a high drive but since the kids not so much. I still look the same and I'm basically always up for it...

I know basically all men watch porn

A lot do but really, many don't.

I don't have a problem with porn, I also agree with pp who said most men watch it. I don't think I've come across one who has been disgusted with it.
I know there will be lots who are dead against it and will tell you to LTB because it's exploitation of women etc etc and I think that is sometimes the case but not as largely as it used to be.
I watch porn too and it's never affected my sex life or libido. In fact I find that I watch it slightly more when I've been in a happy sexual relationship because I'm thinking about sex more.
The thing is if a bloke said to me I don't want you to use porn when masturbating I wouldn't agree not to. How I pleasure my self is my business (obviously within reason) so I would just assume this wasn't the man for me rather than hide it from them. Did he always watch porn?
If there were moral/religious reasons behind his views it may be different but if it was just because he didn't want me to do it then I would think fuck off.
The thing is it's how you feel and it's your marriage op so it doesn't really matter what anyone else says. If it's your deal breaker then that's how it is and there's nothing wrong with that.
Yes I watch porn but I'm not a pervert and I don't go round leering at men. It just helps get me in the mood when I'm on my own. Once it's done I don't think about it again until.the next time. It certainly doesn't compare with actual sex with someone I love.
Have you spoke to him about why he isn't interested in sex as much. Is it because he's bored with it, when you do have sex is it good varied sex or have you both fallen into a pattern of the same thing once a week, im not saying this is your fault im just saying we all know it can happen in a LTR, or is there something else going on. If it is because of the amount of porn he's watching then yes that's a whole other issue and it needs to be addressed.

When you tell someone not to do something that creates pressure and resentment. Then inevitably they slip up and then the recriminations become harsher and the pressure on the other other person greater.

Stop with all the guilt. Talk to him. Find out why he does this so much. If he's come to associate sex with nagging and guilt and pressure, that certainly wouldn't help. A counsellor would help here.

Perhaps his libido and interest in sex has dropped, and porn doesn't judge if he can't perform. Does her feel like he has to please you every time? Would you be okay with quickies where he can just concentrate on his own pleasure? You both need to sort this out.

You'd be surprised the amount of women who watch porn, me included. Do you ever masturbate yourself?