Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship

[Nene05]

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy?
What would you do in this situation? ?

It's a temporary visa if things continue I just won't renew it and move on.

What sort of person do you think of yourself as?

When you picture what your life should look like, does it really include lying, cheating and being cruel to the person you've made promises to?

How is fucking around moving forward? It's staying in the same place but being a worse person.

He needs to go to his GP, as it could be part of a larger issue. He doesn't sound happy with the situation either.

He needs to see the GP for tests.

He’s wasting your time you’re married yes but there’s no kids yet. Start seeing someone else who will have Sex with you no need to get stuck with this one

Maybe I will give him a deadline and let him know if nothing changes by xyz then just so you know I will be getting to know other men.
And rather than him finding out will let him know before hand.

As a warning if you don't change by May I'm dating other men.

My husband withdrew all intimacy, and essentially stopped speaking to me or doing anything with me. I tried to talk about it but he point blank refused. So I had an affair and am now happily married to my affair partner. Life isn't black and white. I should have left my first husband before starting to see somebody else, but overall both me and my first husband ended up happier despite my poor behaviour in starting an affair before I left him - he freely admits now that we weren't compatible and that our split was for the best.

Oh FfS! You are fundamentally incompatible with your H and having sex with other people, with or without his permission will not change that. He isn’t keen to start a family if he’s not willing to be involved in the process, simple.

Take the very shortsighted blinkers off, your relationship has very serious problems when threats to sleep outside it is the only way you can ‘get your way’.

No one is ever driven to cheat, it’s always a choice. So if you want to cheat, cheat but there’s nothing self righteous about it. In your case it’s a shortsighted response to a long term problem.

Trying to get him to go to the doctor's.

If he basically married you for a visa, it's not a relationship is it?

It could be that he doesn't want a family right now. It could be that he has a health problem the GP needs to sort, it could be that it's a relationship issue that needs couples therapy, it could be that it's not wanting a child nor a long term relationship with you because the visa has now arrived. It could be that he has another relationship and you were his means to an end. However none of these will be solved with an affair. I'd say these are in order if most to least likely. I'd take each option one at a time and test it. If he blocks you'll know the answer. First one as" him "Would you prefer to delay starting a family? I want to start now but not if you don't yet." Yes he wants one then becomes will you go to the GP...etc if not/not an issue ask for couple therapy. If he won't do that either you need to decided, can you live long term with the option he's not interested in sex or can't and won't get any kind of help? We know your answer. At that point you end it.