Is anyone else you know like this!?

[holyguacamole123]

My mom is becoming increasingly difficult to be around and brings a nasty atmosphere whenever she is around.
For example tonight at dinner, she had come home from a shift at work and made dinner very awkward for everyone there. When asked if she’d like more food she snapped saying no and she was going to be (8pm). She then proceeded to lay into my stepdad, who asked her if she’d like
Him to keep some left overs for her lunch tomorrow. She said no he can get up before me and make me a sandwich (she will leave for work at 7am while my poor dad does all lunches and school run)
I managed to perk the conversation up abit and was having a good chat with my stepdad. She tried to say something to interrupt us, I was mid sentence and so when I had finished I asked her what she said. She told me to F Off and that she was going to bed (where she is now). She’s left a vile atmosphere through the house and most nights where she’s worked are like this. I believe it’s cus she cannot drink on the nights she’s due at work the next day. Anyway - sorry for the long detail but is anyone else’s mom/parent/sibling like this? It’s draining to be around.

Has she always been like this? It sounds as though there's something seriously wrong.

It’s not always but it’s 80% of the time. It’s been years of it though, treading on egg shells!

You mentioned you think it's because she can't have a drink?
Is she generally in a better mood when she's had a drink?

How old is she? Could she be menopausal?

She’s 38, so no I don’t think it will be hormonal. Yeh usually when she’s had alcohol she’s a lot nicer and very chatty

It doesn’t sound very healthy for everyone
How old are you?

She seems like she hates her life and is taking it out on her loved ones. Sorry, OP.
She is, unlikely, to change without therapy.

Sounds like a toxic environment, could you move out? Is your dad an option?

Why is your dad ‘poor dad’ for doing school lunches and the school run? She’s already at work. I’m just trying to work it out.

Sounds hormone related.
Many women when they become peri menopausal can sound just like your mum
The fb Page I’m on has women ranging from mid 30’s to mid 50’s all struggling with hormone changes. Many of them have what seems like severe pmt. really pissed off with everyone and everything.

She's much younger than I thought you were going to say. I was thinking in her 50s.
She sounds like a younger version of Prince Phillip who apparently everyone is scared of. Maybe she's just depressed and needs to see the GP.

You sound so nice. Your Mum sounds very hostile.
Can you sd have a word with her? She sounds very unhappy.
Are they ok as a couple? Sounds like you have a great relationship with your sd.
Somebody has to confront her about her rotten attitude.
Could she be an alcoholic?

Sounds like an awful environment, can you talk to your stepdad about it?

If you're old enough to post on MN, why aren't you making your own lunches?
Maybe she's hacked off at something he did? Which is perhaps none of your business? Working shifts is also a killer. It really wrecks your health, physically and mentally.
How much does she have to do at home, and are all family members pulling their weight?

Sounds like my Step-Mum, she has always been like that. She can be lovely, really interesting and good fun but then she can also be really rather awkward, self-centered and horribly aggressive over seemingly nothing.

She blames everyone, especially my Dad for her weight gain (FYI she isn't even over weight) and will take so long making a decision that nothing will ever get done. You cant pressurise her or tell her what you would prefer because that will then cause a massive row and so everyone has to live in limbo around her.

My dad is no longer allowed to do his hobby because she is jealous of it.

She has threatened my Dad with a knife various times, actually hit him and often throws all his stuff out into the street for all the neighbours to witness their fall out.

My DH has never actually met her when she hasn't been in one of these moods. She makes him feel so uncomfortable that he often says we should do our spare room up for my Dad so he can leave her.

She has tried counselling with my Dad, the counsellor always tells them it is a lack of efficient communication and that my Dad shouldn't take it personally. So now her excuse after one of her episodes is that is just who she is, FFS!

Def could be hormones. I'm similar age and at certain times of my cycle I'm very ragey. But I suppress it and never tell my kids to f off! Could be she self medicates a bit with alcohol and her dry days you're getting her unfiltered. I can't speak for your mum but if it was me I would respond best to my dd saying I don't want you to feel sad mum, perhaps go and get some happy pills to take the edge off.

Okay a few answers.
I’m 22, I live at home atm after uni, pay rent and for my own food ect expect on the occasion my parents offer for me to be included in their meal (I know how DARE I accept anything for free at 22)
My SD doesn’t make my lunches, he makes my sister (11) and my brother (5) for school. He drives them, had a full time job and is the main ‘bread winner’.
My mom works part time and the days she doesn’t work will drink herself into a coma and get up at 1ish the next day and will legit ask my stepdad to also collect the kids because she’s hungover.
Yeh I have spoken to my stepdad about this many times. I’m due to move out in July, I feel awful leaving them with her.
She won’t have therapy, she thinks she’s the normal one and we’re all insufferable.
I do think there’s something that runs in our family or a learned behaviour. My grandma is like this aswell.

Trouble with alkies is they're either drunk or crabby coz they're waiting to get drunk 🥴