Hi All,
First time poster and it took a bit of courage to come on here and blurt out my horribly complicated (non) love life but I thought I’d give it a go.
Around 6 months ago my partner and I separated. We have two children together.
We went through the standard will we won’t we get back together process to start with and we had a brief rekindling. Now because we have children together I am obviously still a presence in her life. We will talk every day, we see each other regularly. I still help her out whenever I can, even when visiting the children I’ll help her do general household things. Kind of like a partner but without the romance (that sounds a hell of a lot sadder when I write it). I still feel as though I’m the person she comes to with random things like if something has happened during her day.
Recently she has begun ‘seeing’/talking to a new man. However I’m still a big part of her life, she will hide this new ‘interest’ of hers and play down any time he is mentioned (having a 6 year old son who likes to shout out when mummy invites the new man around means I’m always aware when he is there). However every time this happens and without me even reacting she will jump to defence mode and explain he’s a friend, oh he just came to say hello etc etc.
I just notice a few things that don’t add up for someone who is apparently ‘interested’ in someone new. It’s crazy things really like any time the new ‘interest’ goes to her house she will spend hours after disinfecting where he has been, washing sofa throws etc. If she does see him she’ll jump straight in the shower when she gets back and puts her clothes straight in the wash. She’s very closed with everyone regarding this new ‘interest’ now this could well be because he is a ‘known’ person in our area and a lot of people have certain knowledge about him and opinions on him that she is hiding it however that just comes across as if she knows he isn’t right and that’s why she’s keeping it very close. (I know from experience no matter who she’s ‘seeing’ she is very open about it usually no matter what other people may think or say).
There are a lot of things that just don’t add up for someone who is really in to this new person and I don’t know whether this is because she knows that she isn’t deep down but is actually quite enjoying the companionship and attention.
I may not help the situation as I still do a lot for her because I want to make sure I provide for the children but also for her as the mother to my children so whether I am enabling her to enjoy the attention because I do the dirty work behind the scenes I don’t know.
You know when you have a feeling and I’m sure if this new man knew the things that she does he would get the impression she wasn’t that keen because I know for a fact I would.
The long and short of it is I would love for us to rekindle our relationship, it feels as though as corny as it sounds that no matter what we seem to stick together, again I know this is amplified by the fact we have children so we do talk regularly but it’s not always just about finding out how they are.
Do you think I’m being used here in terms of enabling this new ‘relationship’ to just be fun for her or is she trying to keep me close because she knows I’m a soft touch or is she keeping me close because she knows this new interest isn’t right for her and I’m there as a back up?
Sorry for the complete mess this thread is but it’s hard to get all my thoughts out at once. I would really appprediate and replies, advice or stories from experience.
Thank you all! Have a great day.