Online dating

[Buntybearbess]

I’m a first year undergraduate in my early (almost) mid 20’s and I’ve never really dated.

I had a ‘thing’ with a guy from church but I realised that I was doing all the chasing and making all the effort and contacting him first all the time and I decided to just stop and see what happened. So far it’s been almost a month and despite being frequently active on Facebook and other social media he’s not bothered to contact me so I’m not wasting my time. If he wanted to talk to me he would.

I would like to try dating but I’ve no idea how too. I don’t often meet people so I figured I’d give online dating a try, but I hear so many horror stories trying it freaks me out. Any advice on sites/apps use when your new and very nervy when it comes to dating/chatting to new people. I’m aware that there will be a mix of creeps, chancers and nice and not so nice guys.

I’m also a practicing Christian and while I’m happy to date outside my faith they’d have to respect it and the restrictions that come with it and I’m not sure (from what I know of online dating) that they’d respect or understand that.

You will meet lots of people in uni. Try to join as many clubs as possible through the student union.

@Spring2019 I have but they’re all 18/19 and I don’t feel comfortable dating them (they’ve asked) but they’re so baby faced and look like 12yr olds and it’s like being with my nephews or a younger brother.

I’ve also joined my unis Mature Student Association

What about a dating site specifically for Christians? I’ve never used one so I can’t say what they’re like.

Of the ones I have used Bumble was probably the best if you’re being quite cautious. It’s a swiping one like Tinder but only the women can approach men. And religion is one of the things you can choose to have put on your profile.

I’ve heard of bumble, I might give that a try. I have heard from other Christians that sometimes Christian dating sites are heavily trolled, which isn’t great.

There used to be a dating site called Christian Mingle. Might be worth a try?

Yeah, gonna look into them tomorrow. Just need to psych myself up for it, if that makes sense. Think it’s a confidence thing tbh.

Terrified I’ll stumble onto a close relative or friend on them tbh 😂

Does it matter if you do? You're young, single - what's more natural than wanting to find a partner, and OLD is one of the ways to look! Nothing to be ashamed of.

@Walkacrossthesand, my family are into ‘banter’ but more often than not its not particularly funny and upsets me because they don’t know when to stop. Seeing a friend on their I can deal with if I’m honest, it’s more my family’s reaction.

That's not banter, sweetheart, that's bullying. A different thing altogether.

@Walkacrossthesand, I know, but they do it to everyone in the family and they can all deal with it so I’m the over sensitive one, I just remain as friendly as I can and tell them very little about my life and choices. It helps now that I’m living a few hours away from my home town at uni.

If you're some distance from home then your family almost certainly won't spot it, just make sure to disable the app when you go home. I agree though that their treatment sounds more like bullying than banter, especially if you've been made to feel you are over-sensitive. Why should you not be sensitive to your own feelings and to your right to respect from people who love you?