How to celebrate my sons birthday after separation?

[findingmyselfagain]

Hi all, I separated from my ex just over 6 months ago. We were married for 10 years and we have a little boy of 3. We are trying to stay amicable during this process but it has not been easy due to his behavior (alcohol issues, and he has moved on already). I have an okay relationship with his parents but my parents really do not want to see him again. They are so angry with how he has treated me and how I have been left financially.
Anyway it will soon be our little boys 4th birthday and I am feeling quite stressed about it. I know obviously his dad will want to celebrate with him and both sets of grandparents will want to see him on the day. I just think it will be really difficult to have everyone together and the situation could get very tense. Its the last thing I want for my little boy and I wondered how anyone else has dealt with this in the past? Many thanks

This whole thing can be solved if you, your ex, and the grandparents, can all agree that it is time to put your son first.

I can understand your parents being angry but your ex is always going to be part of their lives through your son.

Can you sit down with them and get them to agree to bite their tongue and be amicable for the sake of your sons birthday? It's only one day. They don't have to be friendly just civil.

Are you having a party? If you invite lots of people they might not need to even speak to each other and it will water down the atmosphere.

Good luck. Hopefully it can only get easier x

If you can do something together that is of course the way forward.

My dad was never around on my birthday. It didn't impact me negatively.

My situation is similar although we are not amicable since ex stopped paying child support even though my heating packed up. We split dc birthday. Dc was here am. Then school. Then tea with ex. Other dc was a weekend he collected dc after lunch and had dc for the rest of the day. Grandparents celebrated with us the day before for tea.

Birthday party was organised and funded by me. So I did not invite ex. Petty I know. Maybe next year I will be more amiable.

Just do what feels right. It doesn't mean you have to do the same next year.