Gaming partners

[sickofgaming]

Anyone else have a partner who is into gaming? My oh has been on his most of the afternoon and he will also spend at least one evening a week on it too.
I try not to get too grumpy about it because he doesn't really go out often and it's a thing he enjoys with his online friends - he plays a lot of multi player shite. I know these friends exist as I've seen the group messages between them all arranging times to go on and whatnot.
I do sometimes worry if that's all he's up to in there as it seems a lot of time to be on there. We've had a few trust issues in the past with him looking at things online but he tends to game when me and the kids are around and could (and often do) burst in at any time. So it would be daft of him to do anything dodgy I guess.
Am I wrong to get a bit fed up with it or do I just let him crack on?

I'm a gamer, OP. It can be extremely time consuming but I live alone and have very few commitments outside of work so it doesn't cause me any problems. My online friends who have families are careful to balance their time well so they spend plenty of time with their families as well. It's really really easy to spend a lot of time online and it doesn't mean he's up to anything dodgy but, that said, it does happen. He has a duty to his family to make sure he makes time for you, and that you have time to do your own thing. I get that many people see gaming as "shite" but for those of us who like to socialise without going out for whatever reason, it's a life saver :)

@AnduinsGirl sorry if the shite comment came across as rude. I don't really 'get' gaming but it's obviously a massive thing and I don't mean to come across disrespectful to those who enjoy it.
I guess I just don't see how it's possible to spend so much time on it! He is pretty good at balancing family life and always asks if it's ok if he plays so I don't have much cause to complain really.
I think given the recent trust issues I'm just paranoid about stuff he does atm :(

I was reading your post with interest and then I thought “wow, lucky” try being with somebody who Games constantly. He is online for at least 6 hours a day and more at weekends. We rarely go out on any dates and I’m now used to doing things on my own. I tried putting my foot down early on in our relationship because he would play online after work until 2/3am every single night. Short of leaving him it didn’t get me anywhere. I guess I’ve got used to it now. It feels lonely and he’s just not interested in socialising outside the house or planning holidays etc. If your fella is doing one night a week and one afternoon at the weekends then that’s my dream to be honest! I’d keep an eye on it though because if I could turn back time I’d never get involved with a gamer. It’s a lonely, depressing life to be honest. I’d rather be with somebody who enjoyed life outside the home and had enthusiasm for real life. Think carefully before you tie yourself down to somebody like that. Take it from somebody who knows it really is a crap way to live if you have no interest in gaming.

I game when I'm alone unless me and my 11 yr old are playing together, I would find it unlikely that he's using precious gaming time to do anything else online if he's only on once a week and one afternoon and as you say good at balancing family life.

What exactly is worrying you? What else would he be doing online

DH games weekend afternoons & Sunday evening. I take the time to do stuff I want to do, chill, read a book drink wine, watch tv shows on catch up.

DH quite enjoys the odd PC online strategy type game, some sort of get missions, shoot things, collect things types (can you tell I'm not a gamer at all ). He goes on maybe once or twice a week for an hour or so. I have no issue with it and consider it no different to me doing my hobbies.

I find adult gamers who spend all afternoon gaming when they're home instead of helping round the house, want to take most evenings/weekends or til early hours quite bizarre and feel sorry for their partners and families.

If it's just short bursts then I wouldn't be too bothered OP (though I understand your trust issues). If it starts interferring with day to day life or dominates his life then you have every right to be annoyed.

Yes, you are wrong to be fed up with it, especially since you qualified your OP by saying you cant really complain much.

I wonder why you hate gaming so much? Would you feel the same if he spent the same time looking down a telescope, painting, or doing jigsaws?

Sounds like he makes a big effort to balance things and keep it in check, so, credit to him.

@Dunin this sounds terrible, sorry that you are going through this.

I don't really begrudge him his hobby and I don't too much mind the time alone although sometimes it annoys me if I've been looking forward to a film night together or whatever.

It's probably more of a trust issue. Without going into detail I saw some stuff on his phone he'd been browsing that I wasn't too happy about and I guess when he's in his gaming room I wonder what else he could be up to. Everytime I've popped in it's looked fairly innocent to be fair to him.

I know there are a lot worse pastimes to have and as long as he doesn't get to the extent of the pp's partner I don't really mind.

Sounds like it isn’t so much the gaming but the lack of trust that’s a problem. You need to get to the bottom of that, otherwise it doesn’t matter what his hobby, if you don’t trust that he’s actually doing it, you will resent it.

Apologies for being off topic but In my experience gaming often has an addictive element stimulating dopamine production. That’s why it can’t be compared to other hobbies.

My teenage ds has a gaming addiction and the worst thing about it is that it robs him of human contact and face to face social interaction, as well as potential things he might enjoy such as sport, fitness, family life etc. I sometimes think people don’t take this addiction seriously.