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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice for friend

14 replies

Timeonmyown · 20/01/2019 14:34

OK so was having drinks with a friend last night, when she completely broke down on me. When I finally managed to calm her and get her talking. This is what she had to say.

Apparently her BF of 4 years can become rough at times (in the bedroom). She's explained she doesn't like it and asked for him not to do it. When I say rough I mean smacking her bum thighs and boobs but to the point we're there are sometimes bruises and squeezing boobs until they feel like they might pop was how she described it!! She says she has told him she doesn't like it and doesn't want him to do so under no circumstances should he but apparently this hasn't gotten through to him.

My reaction was that's horrendous, you deserve so much better and leave him NOW!!!

But I wondered how other people might react to this???

OP posts:
Ragnarhairybreetches · 20/01/2019 14:38

It's got through to him, he doesn't care. Some people like it rough, others don't but there is NO EXCUSE for him to ignore her on this, he is hurting her physically, against her wishes, it is abuse, she may not want to hear it but she needs to leave him.

Huskylover1 · 20/01/2019 14:39

If he didn't listen and change his bedroom behaviour, then I'd end the relationship. Bad sex is a deal breaker, surely?

theworldistoosmall · 20/01/2019 14:41

He doesn't care about her. Leave.

emilybrontescorsett · 20/01/2019 14:43

Not acceptable. Id advise her to leave.

puguin86 · 20/01/2019 14:50

He does now. He just doesn't give a shit.

She needs to leave. It will just get worse Sad

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 20/01/2019 15:38

Omg tell her to leave offer her your spare Room.
you sound like the kind of person who would to write on here Thanks

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2019 15:39

She needs to leave him. I’d offer her space to stay if you’ve got it.

Closetbeanmuncher · 20/01/2019 15:48

He has learned his sexual etiquette and technique entirely from shit porn Blush

Your description sounds like a toddler would behave in a petting zoo Confused

She's challenged him and he hasn't changed....Maybe she could stomp his balls with stilettos on and see if he gets the message then?? (That's a joke obviously) Grin

She should end the relationship ASAP.

NotANotMan · 20/01/2019 15:50

She should report him to the police for sexual assault. He's a rapist.

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2019 15:51

She should report him to the police for sexual assault. He's a rapist.
Of course he isn’t. Rape requires penetration by a penis.

NotANotMan · 20/01/2019 15:56

He may not have raped her yet. But he is a rapist. He has the mind of a rapist and he has behaved like a rapist.

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2019 16:01

He is not a rapist. I think his behaviour is wrong but the hyperbole is unhelpful.

Original poster
Timeonmyown · 20/01/2019 16:05

Thank you all for your replies. I have told her she needs to leave and offered her to stay at mine and I think she intends to do just that. I just wanted to know that I wasn't over reacting or something, that other people think the same.
Again thanks everyone

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2019 16:06

That’s really good news op.

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