I posted on here last week. After a very terrible few days with my OH.
To sum up; he is very angry, aggressive (non physical to me), shows 0 empathy or understanding, lies, hides things, and the thing I’m struggling to forgive is what that he went through a phase (about 2 years - once a month or so) of starting to have sex with me whilst I was asleep.
We are in a really bad place. But we have a week where everything is going really good and I can’t imagine life without him but the tiniest thing sets him off and if he doesn’t like what I’m saying he explodes and becomes nasty and aggressive and patronising. He cannot keep his defences down.
I now know that I need to leave him. But I’m finding it very hard when I do still love him. Or the idea of him. The him he used to be. Or pretended to be. And my family - we have a daughter and we also lost a baby in July and she has been through enough. I feel as though I’ve tried to keep my family together and I’ve done whatever I can. I wake up every day and start fresh. But I’m hurt and angry and I know it’s not enough for me.
Anybody ever been in a similar situation? Where you know you need to leave but have reasons that you don’t want to?
Or any words of wisdom at all?