I'm pretty sure it's not but my dp seems to think I should be doing more. This might be long as I'm going to set out our days to compare but will try to keep it brief.
We have been together 6 years lived together just over 4, both have 1 dc each from a previous relationship, both 8, and have 4 month old together. My dc is here 7 days a week and we have 50/50 shared care of his dc. I'm on mat leave till June but will be doing one day a week from April as keep in touch days.
My day starts about 5.45 on weekdays, I get up have coffee, spend half an hour exercising, wake oldest dc for school, get washed and dressed then baby wakes around 7.15.
Feed change baby, sort oldest child's hair, lunch, whatever else for school then walk to school at 8.30. Then me and baby go a walk till 9.30/10 depending if she needs a bottle.
Baby doesn't really nap during the day but about 10.30ish she will maybe have 20 mins so I get a quick lunch then when she wakes we have playtime/ read to her.
11.30 change and feed baby then she will usually sit and watch while I do dishes, wipe surfaces, brush floors, mop if iv time, hoover and polish living room if iv time and wash and sterilise bottles then I have another coffee and sit for a while depending on how baby is.
Usually by now it's about 1.30 so baby has another bottle, I go to the shop for anything needed for dinner or next days lunch then collect dc from school, sometimes go to the park on way home if weather isn't too bad, then give baby another bottle/change, do homework with older dc.
Start dinner about 4.30/5, if he has been early shift he will play with/hold baby while I do dinner, which does help.
baby has a another bottle about 6, start Bath and be time routine at 7, (I get everything organised for this, regardless of who is actually doing it). 8.30/9 I put older child to bed then if he's been late shift I clean up from dinner and sterilise bottles again and sit down around 9.30 or if he's home he will do this which means I can sit down from around 9.
His day varies depending on which shift he is but he rarely works 2 days in a row, though next week he is on nights so I won't expect him to do anything from tomorrow till next Sunday.
If he's on early shift he gets up at 5 home about 4, then as said above will play with baby till dinner then do dishes while I bath baby, sometimes he will do dinner or bath(don't think he has ever done both) while I play with baby or do the dishes.
His late shifts he sleeps till 10/11 depending when he has to leave, irons his clothes sorts his meal ( I used to do this but don't now) get ready for work has coffee and leaves about 12/1 home between 10 and 11.
Days off sleeps till at least 10 then basically doesn't do much, will give baby a bottle if iv made it or change her if he sees me getting stuff out and he's already holding her. Will clean up stairs bathroom once every week or so, occasionally clean kitchen but this always gets thrown back in my face that he's had to do these things on his days off.
I always do washings, clean downstairs toilet, tidy rooms, sort school clothes for both older dcs and do all the admin/money work for the house and when we argue, which is a lot recently he tells me I'm lazy and sit about all day, I tell him what I do each day n he will say well the floors not been washed for about 5 days even if it's been done that day, but in this weather with kids, a cat and a pram in and out all day, the floor doesn't stay clean for long or when was the last time you emptied the bin cause he's had to do it. The only thing that is actually his job is the cat trays and upstairs bathroom, though I will do these if he hasn't done it for a week. How the hell do I get him to see that he has it pretty easy and that he should be doing more (if he should, maybe he's right though I really don't think so), anytime I try to tell him he just says I obviously can't handle it and just like he works full time( he averages 30 hours a week) this is my full time job so deal with it basically.
Sorry its so long just didn't want to miss anything but if you've got through it all and have any advice I would appreciate it (not LTB though as I'm not ready to throw it all away just yet though if things don't change when I'm back at work that might be my only option).