How do I get over wanting another baby?

[sandytoesandsaltykisses]

How do I get over wanting another baby?
I’m not even sure if this is the right forum to post this in but here goes.

My partner and I have been together for nearly 4 years and we are both divorced and have two children each.

When I met him, he’d already had the snip and had no desire for more children and I felt the same.

However, having been with him this long I can’t shake the feeling of wanting our own child. One that’s the two of ours, instead of either being mine or his.
My head knows this is a ridiculous idea. I had a terrible second pregnancy, not to mention the fact that I think it would totally alter the dynamics of our family, which, at the moment are fairly balanced given that we have two children each. It also wouldn’t be fair on the existing children. So my HEAD knows the right answer.

My heart however, yearns for another child sometimes.

Is this normal? Has anyone else felt like this? How do you resign yourself to the fact that you won’t have another baby ever again?

Thanks ladies. Kind comments only please, I’m very emotional about this and no, splitting up is not an option.

(He is adamant he doesn’t want any more and I know that is the right decision)

It's going to be a resignation from you, however you look at it, but he doesn't want any more children to such a degree that he had the snip.

It's probably going to take some pragmatism to deal with. Deep breath; acknowledge your feelings and then put them to one side. Babies are lovely, but you've had yours now, there aren't more in your future. Push it to one side when you feel broody. Acknowledge it and let it pass. Depending on how old you are, it might get worse before it gets better (biological clocks are great things!) but it will pass.

That's all you can do, really

I'm not in your situation so I hope someone else will come along who is, and can offer good advice. DP and I have two children and are planning one more. We have gone back and forth between two and three, and have decided (unless something changes to sway us again) that we'd regret not having another, but won't ever regret having another.
However, I have a feeling that even if we have a third I will still have some broodiness. I think it's natural, and it's so hard. If we do decide to stop at two I know there is a part of me that will find it very painful. I think you just have to be kind to yourself and remind yourself of what you already have. I know that's easier said than done, but you have four children together, although not related by blood you still have a lovely family unit.

It is the broodiness.

I really really really really really wanted another baby.
Did not have one. never even really discussed with husband at the time as out marriage was going down the pan.
I got over it and dont regret not having a 3rd child.

It is up to you to talk about with partner. See what he says .

We had children each from previous marriages. I also felt like you, he had also had the snip.

I am so so pleased that he didn't give in to my 'temporary' mad need for another child. (It lasted 3 yrs !) . When we got together he had 4 with ex wife and I had 3 with ex DH. Youngest 4yrs. 12 yrs later youngest is 16 and eldest 24. Our marriage is really strong because we have had the time to devote to each other rather than all the focus being in the children to the extent that you forget you are a couple !
All 7 children have other parents. From young until teenage years they were all with their respective mum or dad EOW leaving us together and able to enjoy each other's company child free.

Children DO NOT bring couples closer together. They are a hand grenade into a relationship. That does not pay dividends until many years later - by which time the relationship hasn't survived.

You have a new partner OP. Cherish and grow that relationship. Blended families are hard enough without babies, sibling jealousy, sleepless nights, childcare costs and your ability to enjoy each other restricted by another child - not to mention going through the whole child rearing malarkey again years after the last one.

It's not just the baby years it's the school parents evenings, school trips, dropping/picking up from clubs, hobbies, parties, homework, exam stress.. no thanks ! Been there done that . So glad I haven't got it all coming again . We have time (and have had all through the last decade) to go away weekends alone and now can plan for just us. Bliss !

Fontofnoknowledge is right. This is an temporary thing and you really need to think about the other children in this situation over your need for a baby.

Thanks everyone - specifically Fontofnoknowledge.

Like I said, my head knows the right answer and I won’t have another one because it just wouldn’t work, it’s not fair on the others etc etc.

But it’s just how to get rid of that bloodiness, that maternal instinct that sometimes makes my ovaries ache! I assume that this is common for all women, it’s just not hit me like this before. It must be an age thing! 😊

Thanks again ladies

*broodiness 🙄 damn autocorrect!

I don't think you can get rid of it, you just have to ride it out really. Sit with the feelings, accept them and let them go.