If you had your first relationship in your late twenties/early thirties, can I ask about timelines?

[SpringTimeDaffys]

I've kissed men before but nothing else. My friends all have sex very soon in relationships, the idea of which scares the crap out of me.

I have signed up to OLD and I have been on two dates with two different men. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting so that was a bonus, although I didn't want to tell either one that I was so new to relationships. I'm 34.

When do you be honest? If I meet someone I really like will it be easier?

I'm the same age as you and have had one serious relationship. I'd like to think that if the right person ever comes along, all the hang ups will melt away and none of it will matter

Does the excite excite you, or does it just frieghten you?

I'm flat out terrified of it all but I really want a relationship now.

Hi daffys, I am 39 and still haven't managed the kissing bit yet, so you are ahead of me

I know what you mean by "terrifying", it feels like dating kryptonite doesn't it. I created an OLD profile but can't bring myself to "swipe right" yet.

I think only you can decide how honest to be with people, it depends on how you feel about it.
If you would like to be treated with grace and kindness about it, then someone who could do that would want to know, I think.
But if you just want to laugh about it in the future, then maybe keeping it to yourself might be better.

I also think that if you meet someone you really like, it might be more difficult to talk about, maybe if you're on a date that is ok but not amazing, experiment with being a bit more open, see how it makes you feel?

I think that what makes it so daunting is more about how others will react to that sort of information, I really don't want to be somebody's "prize" just for the sake of it, mainly because it doesn't really matter to me anyway.

Best of luck