My H is never nice to be and I hate him for it

[hippoherostandinghere]

I'm at the end of my tether. I just can't put up with him any more. We argue constantly. He never has anything nice to say. He pulls me up on everything I say and disagrees or argues back. Earlier today he said I was an embarrassment. I started a new job 4 months ago and on the 1st day he said 'well how was it?' And except for that he hasn't mentioned it once. Not one question of how I'm getting on or settling in. Please tell me this isn't normal. He's lazy, rude, argumentative and I can't cope.

Dc are 9 and 7 and they pick up on it. They're not rude kids but I can see them starting to copy him. No one gives me any respect. I'm just so sad.

You don't need an excuse to separate from him. He's not your friend, he treats you badly, he's a poor role model for your children and you don't even like him.

There is nothing to stay for. So make your plans and separate. Make the rest of your children's childhood happy, secure and positive.

I'm listening to you all. Thanks for the nice messages.

Even if you are the one to call time in the marriage it's his nasty and unkind behaviour that cause it to fail...

And start saying No to sex if he can't treat you properly. You're not there for his benefit.

There's a whole other life waiting for you, get your shit together and get away from this horrible twat!

You're all right. I'm 34, there's so much more to life than this.
Practically I don't know where to start. It all feels so overwhelming, but he adds nothing to my life. He doesn't help around the house. He does attend things to do with the kids. He's controlling and I'm telling him very soon that I'm out.

How did you get on OP? I was in a similar situation but my ex did have an affair and left suddenly. I'm good now but it was a mixed bag of feelings.
I was discussing it with a friend who'd split from her abusive husband to raise their child alone and she said she thought she'd coped better because she'd been the one to leave.

I think you need to think about this from your children's point of view and use that to make changes. Every day they are seeing bad behaviour being accepted in their main model for adult relationships and marriage. You don't want them to replicate what you have. Make small changes that show how you expect to be treated and make sure your children see this. Even if it has no affect on how your husband acts it will strengthen you and your children, they will know poor behaviour is not acceptable. Good luck.