Baby dad paying?

[mummy2Be2019]

Hi everyone, I really don't know what topic this thread came under but I'm pregnant with my ex who has decided to walk away and give me a very hard time.

If the father doesn't sign the birth certificate how do you go about child maintenance and getting him to pay as he's left me on my own.

My daughters dad wasn't & isn't on her birth certificate.

I contacted them and gave them as much info on him as I had. Name, address, DOB; where he worked etc they contacted him and he initially denied he was her dad. They said ok we'll do a DNA test and if it comes back that you are then you foot the cost of it - he then agreed he was her dad and they started taking the money.

Thank you for sharing your story! That's helped a lot! I'm going to have to do the same as he is going round denying everything and I've got the same info to give, just going to wait until baby here, he's got a few months to grow up as he has said to mates he doesn't know what to do and made suggestions that he wants to come back but he's just too scared so instead he gets angry and Denys it all either way it's happening and he can't run away with no responsibility x @FinallyFree123456789

If he comes with you to register the baby and he goes on the birth certificate then there are no dna tests required - this then gives him parental responsibility too - which gives him rights to make decisions etc.

It's up to you - but if he isn't on the birth certificate then obviously a dna test can still happen if he continues to deny.

Please don't take him back no matter how hard he begs to come back. He's left you now, he'll do it again if you let him back in.
I would take total control by not putting his name on the child's birth certificate. What man walks out on their pregnant partner!
Just look after yourself and don't get too worked up. X

Thank you I won't he's so aggressive too @MumsyJ

I don't really want him to be allowed to see the child as his anger is pretty vile and he's so irresponsible how do you go about sorting all this for when the baby is here and I've heard his plan is too come back once it's here and I want him to know not to bother but he's blocked me on everything, just want him to stay away and be prepared to pay x

Baby dad. Urgh.

Sorry? @LaughingCow99

Ignore the pearl clutching about your phrasing.

I would suggest that you DON'T put him on the birth certificate (and in fact you cannot do this unless he comes with you, as you're not married to each other.) As a PP posted, you can still claim CMS but might have to go through the rigmarole of a DNA test.

Paying CMS does not mean he has parental responsibility, which would give him control over things like which doctor's surgery you choose for your DC, which school, etc.

It also doesn't give him an automatic right to contact with the child - however, unless you have concerns for your DC's safety, the courts would take a dim view of you withholding contact just because he's been an arse to you. He might possibly be an arse to his girlfriends but a good parent - you never know.

Good luck with your pregnancy

Thank you! I don't want him to not have contact as it upsets me but his anger is awful and it comes on so fast and he is so hard to calm down. I just hope he has some sort of wake up call @NotTheFordType

I don't really want him to be allowed to see the child

You have no right to stop him from seeing his child and courts woukd take a dim view of you doing so.

If his anger is that bad, you need to start getting it officially recorded. Go to your GP, report him to the police (101 unless he's outside your house), talk to Womens Aid. You need official records that he has been violent if you want to prevent contact (and if he's that abusive then I believe you are right to do so.)

I agree with @NotTheFordType about documenting the anger and aggression....This is very important.

Go ahead with the CMS claim, if you dont trust him to be alone with the baby then allow him supervised access at a contact centre. You would need documented evidence though to prove that he is unsuitable to have unsupervised access (hence the importance of documenting the episodes).

By the sounds of it he won't want to see the baby anyway.