Sexless marriage

[Chaoticdrama]

Hi all, I'm hoping to get advice. DH and I have been together for over 11 years. He is an amazing father, and we have a laugh together, but there is no sex. I think i could count on both hands the amount of times we have had sex in those years. He has suffered with impotence for our entire relationship. Viagra has limited success, and I lust for spontaneous sex, and not having to schedule it when it might not even work, he has sought drs advice, but they will only offer repeat viagra. He feels I should be satisfied with foreplay.
I don't know where to go from from here. Bar the sex, our relationship is pretty good, but the distance between us is growing. I'm finding myself getting more and more sexually frustrated, and snappy at him, my self esteem is in tatters as it feels like constant rejection, I'm also finding that I'm becoming so much more flirty (with no actual intention) with blokes, just because it's nice to feel attractive to a man. I know it's wrong.

My head is a mess. I really don't know what to do, or where to go from here. I can't spend the rest of my life like this, but have no idea how to move forward?
Has anyone else been through this, what did you do?

I am not sure what to say.
These threads pop up every now and then and I always wonder -
You’ve got into a relationship and married a man with impotence/low libido.
Why did you think it’ll change? Either back then or in 10 years?

This the man you chose to settle quit. It isn’t going to change. Making him feel bad about his condition (and the way he is) is cruel.
This has nothing to do with your attractiveness.

Either you and him will find a way ti have a sex life that you can be ok with that doesn’t involve PIV - there are a few options available, no?
Or you open up your relationship.

Just don’t torture him. He isn’t doing that to you on purpose.

I'm definitely not torturing him, I've been supporting him for 11 years. When we got together, he was using medication constantly, so I had no idea. We have been to the drs, had ultrasounds, blood tests and they still recommend medication, despite it not really working. I guess when I found out, I just didn't think it would never resolve, I thought it was a phase, that it would get better. I've tried to talk with him about it, and he just thinks toys and foreplay should be enough for me, I've told him that it isn't. I need the closeness. He is reluctant now to pursue any further treatment. I don't really know what else to do. I can't see how an open relationship, could even be suggested without hurting our marriage. It currently feels like I should just reside myself to feeling constantly rejected by him, so that I don't upset him by keep bringing it into a conversation.
I really can't see any other way.

Often we hear of men who refuse to seek help and leave their partners suffering as a result. This isn't one of those cases. He has this issue and he has sought help and treatment and it isn't going away. Your DH is asking you to accept him as he is rather than hoping that the impossible will happen and he will magically be cured or that he can just man up and will an erection out if nowhere.

This isn't about him it is about you and whether you are going to accept this person as they are or not.