Why am I like this?

[upandupandup]

I've noticed a pattern in all my 'relationships'.

Someone shows interest in me. Even if I'm not sure I get used to the attention and start to like them back. Then they back off usually for legit reasons, but by then I really like them.

Then it ends, but I can't let go. I'll agree to be friends, have sex with them etc as I can't let go of the attention. Then gradually their interest wavers forever and I feel terrible about myself. I don't really miss them but feel it's a reflection on me that they used to be so into me and now they're not.

Why do I do this and how do I break the cycle? All it does is cause my massive amounts of hurt, when I'm still pining after they've moved on.

I mean this as nicely as possible, but look up co-dependency on google and book yourself some counselling.

What was your childhood like? How was your parents relationship?

Looking into attachment styles may shine some light. You sound 'anxious'. Theres a good book with some practical tips called 'Attached".

Get the 12 steps for codependents book by melody Beattie and do the exercises. Being aware of what drives your behaviour is a game changer. Maybe wait a bit before sleeping with them as this releases hormones and bonds you to them no matter how unsuitable they are.