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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Divorce with no assets

30 replies

kezzy13 · 18/01/2019 18:58

Halfway through my divorce, just waiting for decree nisi to arrive.

We have no assets, no property/savings etc.

Is it worth me trying to apply for spousal maintenance?

He won't be paying child maintenance as not the bio father, bio father has never met child and never paid for him, don't really want him involved if possible. (He knows he is a father and has been given opportunity to meet my son but not interested)

Been trying to read up about spousal maintenance but gov website so confusing.

Ex H earns approx £350 a week

OP posts:
Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 18/01/2019 19:00

Why would you want /expect money off him?

Lemoneeza · 18/01/2019 19:02

I would seek maintenance from bio father.

Not legally qualified, but I doubt you'd get much. How long were you married?

Original poster
kezzy13 · 18/01/2019 19:03

I had to quit my job the day he left as I worked evenings and weekends, haven't been able to get another one since (I have been trying!)

So I was earning my own money but as he's walked out without looking backwards I have now had to go on UC

OP posts:
Original poster
kezzy13 · 18/01/2019 19:03

Married 9 years

OP posts:
takeanotherchillpill · 18/01/2019 19:04

Unless you've omitted hugely pertinent information, then no to applying for spousal maintenance as that would make you a CF.

category12 · 18/01/2019 19:05

Isn't it a bit late in the process to start wanting to change the financial settlements?

Why would you get spousal maintenance?

The dc's father should be paying child support.

Whothere · 18/01/2019 19:09

Spousal maintenance is relatively rare these days as a clean break is preferrred.

oiiiiiii · 18/01/2019 19:09

It sounds too late in the process, and also hugely unlikely that you have a case for maintenance.

Any reason the DC father isn't paying maintenance? Have you pursued him for it?

lifebegins50 · 18/01/2019 19:10

SM extremely unlikely (or impossible) in your case. It is only awarded where income is high enough to provide SM and it's a long marriage.

I guess he didn't apply for PR for your child?

I know it's tough but you will bounce back financially. Keep the faith that the right job will appear.
How old is your dc? Is there anyone who could babysit whilst you work?

Original poster
kezzy13 · 18/01/2019 19:14

Ds is 4 he does go to nursery but there's no one who can have him outside nursery hours. Unfortunately as all I've ever done is retail work that mostly includes having to work evenings and / or weekends.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 18/01/2019 19:50

Wait what? You were married 9 years, DS is 4 but was fathered by someone else?

If this happened as an agreement that your STBXH couldn't have DC and you went out and found a sperm donor, then you could claim child maintenance, I believe.

If you shagged a random and got pregnant and decided to keep the baby, you're a very cheeky fucker and haven't got a prayer.

SavageBeauty73 · 18/01/2019 19:59

Think you have ages/dates wrong.

GhostSauce · 18/01/2019 20:33

I don't think £1400 a month would be considered a high enough salary for you to claim from him. It's usually when one party is a very high earner. On £1400 a month after his own rent and bills he can't have much leftover.

Tbh if DS isn't it I don't think you'll have much of a chance.

GhostSauce · 18/01/2019 20:35

Hang on DS is 4 but you've been married 9 years? Did you cheat?

Singlenotsingle · 18/01/2019 20:35

Have bit of pride OP!

Ginger1982 · 18/01/2019 20:44

So did you have an affair with bio dad then?

Boysandbuses · 18/01/2019 20:57

£350 per week, before tax?

You wouldn't get anything.

MumsyJ · 18/01/2019 21:02

"Is it worth me trying to apply for spousal maintenance?"

I think that's the question the OP is seeking answers/ advice on.
It can be hard when you work weekends/ evenings with kids involved. Hopefully you get things sorted on the job front. Given what your exH earns monthly, I'm not so sure about SM but find out from the right sources perhaps? All the best.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 18/01/2019 21:04

Spousal support is something high earners pay. £350 a week is quite a low wage so he therefore wouldn't pay.

How come you've a 4 year old whose dad isn't your husband of 9 years?

Boysandbuses · 18/01/2019 21:15

Many single parents manage to work. I did.

I went and worked in a call centre. Childcare is hard, but it's doable.

BoneyBackJefferson · 18/01/2019 21:37

"Is it worth me trying to apply for spousal maintenance?"

comedy gold for so many reasons.

DianaT1969 · 18/01/2019 21:38

I don't think the OP will be back.

RiaParkinson71 · 18/01/2019 21:44

Eh, married 9 yrs but DS is 4 and stbxh is not DS bio dad? Alrighty then...

Changedname3456 · 19/01/2019 08:19

Yeah, can’t help but think his decision to leave might be related to the non-bio 4 year old.

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 19/01/2019 08:26

Plenty of jobs you can do around school hours.
I believe spousal maintenance is usually only granted where a woman nearing retirement age has devoted her life to bring up children at home and has never had. Job and is unlikely to get one. My ex sil attempted to get this as had been at home bringing up the children and was then mix 50s. The judge refused saying she was able bodied and could go out and work

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