Hi all ive made a seperate account for this post.. so I want to begin with this my partner and I have been together almost 10 years now we have two beautiful boys who are sadly in care of a family member because of this so about 4 year ago my partner started drinking behind my back (i didnt know this for almost a year) aswell of the alcohol he consumed infront of me he would go into the garage or out for walks with bottles of spirit's, he became very violent and my eldest son 3/4 at the time saw the violence towards me and the house, social services got involved and there was an ongoing case we ended up splitting up and he moved out it was this time when i found lots of empty bottles and found out about the secret drinking during the time apart I was extremley depressed and was living in a womans refuge untill the kids were taken from me. After about 8 months of him not letting me get on with my life and playing mind tricks and making me feel as of nobody else wanted me and trying to kill himself I ended up getting back with my partner (bad idea I know) so we were living together again with the drinking still happening im asuming the violence got worse and he ended up spending a very short time in prison due to something he did to me and my family phoning the police I felt as if I couldnt leave him with this being my fault he ended up in there in the first place, I lost the majority of my weight during this time I didnt go to court to give evidence and he was released from court. We ended up moving into a new house and the drinking stopped all together for a few months at this time there was no violence at all and we were getting back on track to try get the boys back, we needed and extra bedroom so we moved again into the current property we are in a year ago next month all was fine at first untill around August or maybie sooner when the violence started again assuming he was back to his old tricks again a started snooping and my instinct was right as I have found empty spirit bottles and receipts made into tiny balls I have questioned him about this but his denied it all. The violence and name calling these past few months has been worse then before I havent told anyone about this untill we were drinking together 2 weeks ago and he went out with the dog and came back wanting more alcohol he lost it and basicly beat the hell out of me and tried to suffocate me infront of my next door neighbour then ran, the police were called who came and begged me for a statement for hours but I was afraid to give them one because of threats ive had if I do send him back to prison, after this incident he has told me he doest love me and its my fault for the way i go on why he is horrible, he doesnt even need to have had a drink to call me names anymore I now feel like im walking on eggshells around him trying not to upset him if I ask him not to drink he says im trying to controll im not im just scared of the behaviour in drink. He has threatened to kill me but i dont think he would. I dont even know why I have said all of this i have nobody else to talk to I almost deleted it all reading it back. (Can I please just say this isnt everyday some days its just a normal relationship but if im cheeky I get all the names under the sun aswell of threats) I know I need to leave but I am scared to do this. He has been through alot of trauma in his life and has me thinking these things are the reason for his behavior. He doesnt act as if there is anything wrong with the relationship at all. Has anybody else been through this? Does it get better?