Follow head or heart..

[Advicepleasee1]

So i have this male friend who ive known for nearly 5 years now, on and off weve spoke been close etc. Had a few intimate moments but weve always remained friends with the odd sexting...
Ive now been with my partner for nearly 2 years, not long had a LG have our own home etc and recently got engaged + booked the wedding.
My male friend has been in contact and never been an open book in 5 years, now hes opened up and told me hes been to a therapist to help with insomnia depression and talk about people in his life.
Turns out hes always had feelings for me and never found a girl he clicks with like my, admitadly i feel the same always have had feelings. So now im confused.
Questioning my engagement, relationship because this male who ive always been close too and wanted has finally said something.
I dont know what do just need some advice before things get more complicated

I hate to say this..... but if it were me the fact that you’re even considering it shows you can’t be completely satisfied / totally in love with your fiancé?
I know when I have been madly in love, George Clooney could have serenaded me and I’d not be interested

Postpone engagement. If u were truly happy with man you were going to marry this other guy wouldn't get a look in. Please don't marry him as it's a massive commitment until ur fully sure. Good luck with ur decision

Why did you get engaged to the man you're with?

Why did you get engaged to the man you're with?

Exactly

I had cut ties with my friend for months after my partner didnt like our friendship and i am happy with my fiance jus got repressed feelings for my friend which i know i shouldnt have

Well, if your partner is a good man, stay strong. I'm dealing with a lot for trying to "find out" and for the "what ifs". I'm curious about something. How do you feel around your friend when you are with him face to face?

Speaking from a completely & utterly biased point of view, I would say follow your heart.

I have been in a very similar situation & followed my head. Mainly as I had a child & wedding booked and the fear of letting everyone else down was overwhelming.

To cut a long story short, I spent 20 years married to a man I have come to realise I never truly loved. Although of course I learnt to live perfectly well without my “friend”, I still have feelings for him and he will always be my “what if”.

TBH I wish I’d been so much braver & followed my heart.

after my partner didnt like our friendship
Wow - really?
Why didn't he like it?
Making you cut out friends is not OK.

And as for your friend, well...... I say follow your heart.
I think you probably need a good heart to heart with your friend to find out what is going on.
Does this have legs at all anyway?

maybe the partner didn't like the friendship because he knew you had feelings for this person? We are only hearing snippets here.

I think it is the dear of letting people down as well as my daughter
Weve spoken about it and dont want to loose our friendship but theres always going to be the what if
Like would it work
Ive always thought about him even in past relationships and so has he
But everything comes rushing back when me and my friend start speaking again

I think the head and the heart are saying the same thing. You are not in love enough with your fiance. Will be tough to deal with, but easier than marrying and regretting.

Follow your heart

You’re clearly settling with this guy. Let him find somebody who adores him.

If you are going to leave the father of your daughter you really really need to be sure.

He is going through therapy, it’s a process getting his mental health right. Is he sure he is the one enough to become a stepdad? Are you sure?

Not saying leave your fiancé, but make sure you know what you are doing if you leave him for this guy.

If you've known him 5 years and always known you liked each other with the sexting etc why didn't you get together before now?

He had the therapy back in october jist after we we stopped talking, a week after my fiance asked us to stop talk he purposed.
Im not sure why havnt tried it sooner theres always been something, i have a daughter with another bloke so its them both involved too hence why im stuck as i need to decide. Do i cut my friend off completely or stay friends or more. Or will curting him off make me miss him i just dont know ive never had this situation before and theres alot more people to hurt now than just myself as my girls always come first

The most important thing your DDs need is a happy, stable home. Marrying the wrong man is not really the best way to provide that. For any of you.

It would seem to me the best thing to do would be to separate from your fiancé & live alone. Then take your time to see whether a proper relationship with your friend is going to be possible or not.

The two things I would warn against are jumping straight from one to the other - and thinking you have to pick one at all.

It could be neither is actually “the one”.