No sex anymore

[cbaanymore]

I have been married for 35 years, we have always had a good sex life and my husband has been my soul mate but suddenly after a bout of depression on his part our sex life has been nil. It has now been 18 months since we have had any intimate contact. i have tried to talk to him about this but he just gets upset and blames the depression.
I feel he is 80% better but he still won't even cuddle me, I have been so patient but the stress and the worry is making me ill. I really believe he still loves me and he apologises and gets upset every time I try and broach the subject but nothing ever changes. I just don't know what to do, I lay in bed every night wondering if I should end the marriage, we get on so well together but this is a big cloud hanging over us.

Is he on antidepressants? I’m on them and they’ve annihilated my sex drive.

Could he be having erectile problems and is afraid/embarrassed to say?

Sorry you’re feeling like this.
He could be afraid to cuddle because he thinks it will lead to sex and that’s where the problem lies, not with not loving you but with having some sort of sexual dysfunction.

Is he on antidepressants?

Yes he is on anti depressants and anti anxiety drug, he was having some erectile problems before he went on them but just won't talk to me about it,

When I took Sertraline it totally destroyed my ability to orgasm.
Not only was it frustrating for me (I felt like a coiled spring) it completely ruined my sex life. I couldn't face even trying as I knew it would end up making me feel totally shit, and my ex feel crap for not being able to help me out.
Could this be happening for him?

I.think this may be the problem, I think the lack of intimacy is because he is afraid I will expect sex and at the moment he is unable to perform. I have tried to tell him all I want is some affection,not sex but it just doesn’t seem to register.

This is now consuming my life, I don’t sleep because I am resentful, I think about it all the time. He just seems to shrug it off and doesn’t seem to care how it’s affecting me, he’s wrapped up in his own world. I dream of telling him it’s over just to get some sort of reaction, I know he would be devastated if our marriage ende but I can’t carry on much longer without love and affection.

You have my full sympathy OP. Sex really is the only thing that differentiates friends from lovers.

Hope you find a solution

Thank you, everyone, I think after what you have said, this may be down to the medication and am willing to wait it out in the hope that when he comes of the tablets things may improve.