Am i being stupid?

[Vbxxx]

So I'm not sure where to begin I've been with my boyfriend 12 months now and hes started to make me feel very insercure and bad about myself one day he just shocked me and said you look ugly then immediately after said I'm joking then another time usually after we are intimate he tells me i look bad or look crap i dont know why he says these things i feel so hurt because other times he'll say your so beautiful and he will tell me he loves me so much i feel like i have to look perfect when I'm around him its really getting me down and affecting my self confidence am i being silly?

Your self confidence will come back OP

@MyGastlsFlabbered thank you so much hopefully start to feel better soon

Op well done. At 21 you had a damn site more self awareness and courage than i did at 38.
I was with a man like this. Started with the odd dig here and there, the ocassional joke at my expense. Basically progressed into full on emotional and verbal abuse and finally physical attacks.
That's when I left, a shell of my former self. I couldve saved myself a lot of pain and stress had I did what you have done.
Be v proud of yourself. I expect you will now be bombarded with nice messages and declarations of I'll change. Hang on to your determination I can tell you now he isn't sorry and he won't change. Given the chance he will get worse each time you leave and go back because he knows he has pushed your boundaries that little bit lower.
Stay strong and avoid contact with him you will get yourself back.
I'm stronger, happier, more confident and look better than than I ever have. It took work but every minute of it was worth it. If I met a man like him now I wouldn't look twice at him.

Well done for ending it. Hopefully he won't treat another woman like that.

Look after yourself OP - as you said it has been going on for a while. He has hurt you and it might have left some damage if you are feeling anything less that 100% confident. Don’t let that slip and do what you need to heal that and not carry it on to other relationships. Brilliant that you noticed it, researched it and binned him. Make sure he is blocked and deleted - as he will either try a charm offensive of loads of promises to change and//or ramp it up to punish you. Although as the bully he is he continued to minimise, turn it around on you and gaslight.

You have done brilliantly.

Well done, OP! Take care of yourself.

Really thank you all so much for your support! @ALittleBitConfused1 thats awful I'm glad you are much better now! He has been texting saying i would be better off without him and hes depressed but I've ignored all will change my number soon xx

Yeah that's to be expected. Mine used to do that. Then he's switch to it all being all my fault and I wasn't worthy of him because obviously had issues. Then he would get angry and call me names then he would go all apologetic and beg me to give him one lady chance he would change, it's was just because he loved me so much blah blah blah. When, after leaving him countless times but going back it stopped working thats when he started the harassment and finally physical violence.
The worse thing you can do is engage with him at any point because then you've given him an in.
Just give yourself some time and space, keep busy and be kind to yourself. The fact that he is still texting you, trying to manipulate you tells you all you need to know. Men like these have no respect for others boundaries it's always all about what they want.

Block is number on everything. Even if you are not responding to him - you are engaging by reading and reacting to texts. This will hurt and prolong your recovery....