Relationship breakup am in so much pain

[Lobster84]

Hi I’ve posted before on my relationship I was in.. I was in for 7 years we have children together, at first it was a brilliant we got on so well after 5 years it went bad he became abusive police social services and other agencies became involved, he went to live in another part of the country his words running from police! Not me! Well In fact he was sleeping with other women and cutting me out his life best he could, but still would get in contact telling me how much he loved me and cared for me I believed him I was accusing him of cheating (all in ye head he would say) my mental health as deterred so much 😢 the police found him put him in jail and just like that he cut all contact with me he has a mobile phone in jail so ino he could phone if he wanted to.. am so upset I’ve cried everyday the the past 7 weeks tryed getting on with my life but for some unknown reason I can’t stop thinking of this man who I thought loved me I can’t sleep eat do anything the last thing I think of before bed the first thing I think of when I wake up, i know we wasn’t good together as a couple it was toxic. But I still love him so much even though I know he was cheating and am 80% sure he’s in a new relationship with the same woman he met when he moved.... Has anyone been though anything like this does it get better will I stop thinking of him stop crying I feel like my life has no meaning without him which is silly because he wasn’t a very nice person towards the end of the relationship..as just looking for answers that I already no just rarther hear it from his mouth.. he’s not much of a man the way he has cut all ties I just don’t understand how he could do this

This is the mother of all wake up calls. Do you really want that kind of life for yourself? You've dodged a bullet here, do not let this man back into your life. You and your children deserve so much more.

It's so easy for people to judge on here. What people forget is that he wasn't always abusive, you were once happy and he was once a good partner. I think you are mourning those happier times rather than the person he has become. It's ok to feel crap, when a close one dies you don't just carry on like they never existed. It's the same with relationships, and it is made worse when you don't get closure. Try to be kind to yourself, when the kids go to bed have a nice relaxing bath. Treat yourself to a good film. I am also going through a relationship break down, bedtime is the worst. My mind wanders and I can't sleep, so I listen to audio books which helps me relax. I also have fantastic family who help out with the baby and cook me some nice dinners. Do you have anyone who can do the same for you? I hate the saying but it is true, time is a great healer. Slowly you will begin to feel happy again. Good luck and sending you a big hug xx

I tryed so many times to leave when it turned sour but he always wormed his way back in, now that he’s done he obviously hasn’t tryed to worm come back even speak to me just literally cut blocked and feels like forgot me.. I feel so silly for letting him get back in the times he did and kept believeing he would change go back to person I fell in love with... my family are there but they are very blunt with there words suppose they think of it of giving me the hard truth! I do cry at night mornings seem to be the worse, I try to keep busy stay strong for my children but it’s hard..this pain is like no other I’ve ever felt another thing is I was there when even he needed me and when he was able to support his self emotionally and financially I got dropped he’s left me with nothing he doesn’t pay towards the children when I no in fact he’s got more then enough to live a wealthy life...how long has it been since you broke up with your ex? They do say time is a great healer it’s just at the time it’s happening it feel like the end of the world... thanks for replying I wish you well too big hug 🤗 hopefully we can come back and smile at these posts and laugh in months just to come xx

Mine walked out in Boxing Day, left me and our 7 month old with just the line 'it's not u, it's me'. He has a drug addiction, it sounds awful when I type it and I know a lot of people will
Criticise me for loving him and having a child with him. But I didn't know when I got pregnant, he is very good at hiding It. His family are not aware of the extent of his problem. I tried my best to help him but when it came down to it, it was easier for him to walk away than face the truth and change his habits. If I think about it I get upset, I have put a lot of time, money and emotion into our relationship. I have been there for him and always been a rock. But I've been through a bad break up before, I know there are 2 roads to chose from. The one where I totally fall apart and let my mental health suffer and go back in anti-depressants. Or I say to myself 'I tried my best, it's not my fault, I'm worth more, I'm worth loving' and I get on with life. There are undoubtably lonely times, I give myself time to cry and then I make plans to do something for myself and my DD to pull me out of the darkness. Every day is a battle, but I know I'm time I will be happy again. Eating healthy food, doing simple things I love (like dancing silly to loud music in the kitchen or watching re-runs of friends) and getting fresh air helps me. I hope you can find things that help you through this tough time. Don't be scared to admit ur emotions, if your still feeling this way and in a month maybe go to your gp and ask for support. With what you have been through the nhs should offer you counselling before they give you antidepressants. It's what we pay our taxes for after all! And know your not the only women to feel this pain, but us women are defo the stronger sex....you will survive this and you will look back and think 'f**k me I was a hero back then, I went through all that and still brought up my children' xx

In the long run you and your children will be so much better without this man in your life. The fact he has cut contact - although painful will help you to move on gradually. Be strong - it will get better.