I’m 44...

[raiders148]

...and just found out I’m pregnant. About 5 weeks. My bf of 2 months (!!) is 35 and said previously that he wanted kids ‘at some point’ but that was in reference to why we couldn’t be together (which obviously changed a few months later).

I have a 22 yr old and 17 yr old already.

He has an important exam tomorrow but I’m telling him after. I’m terrified that this will finish the relationship. I’m in love with him but I have no clue how he feels.

And a baby at 44?!? How?! And should I?! And I’ve just literally got my freedom back after raising my two (totally awesome) kids for 22 years, mainly on my own.

But there’s a part of me... that wants to be looked after and to look after someone else. Somebody at home. I’ve been on my own for so long.

My head says NO! This can’t work and that I will end up on my own again. But I already feel protective of my mini bean, I take a test every morning (still in denial) and I want it to be positive. It makes no sense. I’m so confused.

Any advice would be very welcome.

Might not be the right time. Might not be the right man. But its the right baby. Yay!!!

Sounds like you don't want a termination op.
And the longer you leave it, you'll become even more attached.

I wouldn't terminate unless you're 100% sure you don't want this baby

Oh OP

If you don't want to terminate, but also can't imagine adding a new baby into your life, would you consider adoption? There are so many childless couples waiting to adopt babies.

I am 45 and even with my longstanding infertility, a pregnancy now would be a logistical nightmare for me. My hormones would say YES WANT BABY but in practical terms it would be a nightmare. A child would be hitting those difficult teenage years as I was late 50s.

If the father was a life partner then I might think differently. But the reaction of your BF to the news would make me assume I'd be a single mum.

I got pg at 44 but sadly she had a disability and lost her at 14 weeks .

I was gutted tbh.

I'd say follow your heart op. I would still give it another go and I'm 46. ( so not much chance now anyway)

Losing my baby at your age really messed me up op ....

Now I secretly hanker after another

Make sure you're doing the right thing - be 100%.

You'll never be 100% sure that termination is the right choice....but you need to be surer than you sound OP. Talk it over with a neutral third party.

Sounds like u aren't sure on the decision you've made. As pp said u can book the app but don't have to go through wth it. Take ur time it's a huge decision and there are worse things to bring into a relationship than a baby.

I had my baby at 44 last August, totally uneventful pregnancy. She is my masterpiece.

Oh svrt I'm so jealous....

This would have been my last and had i pulled it off also a master piece. Would have been dp"S first and only he would have been ecstatic.

I dont trust myself any more. I felt this was absolutely right. It wasn't ☹️

I don’t think you will OP, but your relationship is going to take a battering.

Probably do what cowface said. I think the problem really is not just your age but such a big gap and starting again. I knew of a woman who like a pp who had 3 children starting early 40's. There is a difference I think. Very difficult decision for you OP, but you have a bit more time.

I think you will regret this. Your do isn't the one who is pg, you are - don't allow his feelings to be treated as more important than yours. If you want the baby, then everything else can be worked out. Don't terminate a pg that you want, for a relationship that may not work out. You will resent him if you feel he has persuaded you to make the wrong choice and while you can get another boyfriend, you can't replace this baby.
Obviously if you want to end the Pg, that's entirely different. Please just make sure that your decision is truly yours.