Background - I’ve been with my current partner 3 years and am 7 months pregnant with my 3rd, his 1st child. I have 2 DC’s from my previous relationship. He hasn’t moved into mine yet but stays over most of the week (between 5/6 nights) although, he’s in the process of moving all his things to mine to move in at the end of the month.
He got a new MacBook about a month ago and literally any spare time he has is spent on the laptop playing some football manager game. I’m not exaggerating when I say this. He has even “worked from home” all this week as apparently his skin is very sore (he suffers from eczema) and the air con in his office aggravates it. He’s worked in the same office since we met and it’s never been an issue before. I honestly think he’s using it as an excuse so he can sit and play this game all day.
Yesterday I asked him to pick up DC’s from after school care as I was running a bit late and also had to pick up a prescription from the doctors as the midwife had phoned me yesterday afternoon and said my bloods had come back and I was anaemic. He was at my place “working” anyway so I thought he may have offered to get the kids as the school is literally across the road from where I live.
Anyway, this morning my youngest saw that he was working from home again and asked him if he was picking them up again today from ASC. He asked if she wanted him to and she said no. I never hear this but he told me about it later on. They used to have such a good relationship but he’s barely paid her any attention this past month as he’s been so engaged in his laptop. This afternoon he sent me a text saying he was just going to stay at his own place tonight as he was “a bit miffed” at what the little one said to him this morning and wants to give her some space. I replied saying I didn’t think it was space she needed, but maybe some engagement from him e.g. instead of sitting on his laptop constantly and barely engaging in conversation with us, maybe we could have a games night or watch a movie together. I said I think she’s also disengaged with him as lately all she sees me running around like a blue arsed fly constantly and literally doing everything in the house while he just sits there on his laptop and she’s picking up on this. No reply.
When I got home me and the kids literally stepped foot in the door and he was there, with his jacket on, laptop in hand saying bye as that was him going. He had stayed till I got in as I didn’t take keys with me this morning then couldn’t get out the door quick enough. Just before he was about to go I told him not to bother coming back as he’s making me and now it seems, the kids miserable. Tbh this has been on the cards for weeks as I’ve seen how lazy and selfish he can be and it’s making me miserable. He didn’t even acknowledge what I said, just looked at me and left.
Last week I had to go for a liver scan as my liver function tests kept coming back abnormal. I went to the see the midwife on Monday for the results but he didn’t come with me. Turns out they found 2 x 2cm solid lesions on my liver so I phoned him after the appointment to tell him. He didn’t seem that fussed and even when I got him that night he never mentioned it and hasn’t since. I’ve tried to bring it up a couple of times but his face is stuck in the laptop and he’s more or less ignored me.
I’ve been feeling like shut and worried all week because of it and he seems totally uninterested. Then he decides that because there seems to be an issue with youngest DD, he’s just going to retreat to his bolt hole instead of trying to address it.
Was I wrong to tell him not to come back? I just feel like I’d be better off on my own.