online dating for public professionals

[hellosally]

posting for a friend- divorced few years with grown up son who lives abroad, in her early 50s and would like to meet someone new. she works as a GP in a city but local community where she is well known. she has tried to meet new single men but all her friends are married, she tried a so called "upmarket" dating agency which was awful, and has joined hobby/interest groups, again no joy. I have said go online, but she is really worried about her profile being seen by patients, as she said a lot of people would think this is fine but she is worried about the more vulnerable/mental health/just "strange" people that she sees seeing it, have said I will post to ask if anyone with a public role has had any problems, also for any other suggestions? are there any sites where you can choose who sees your profile?

I’m a teacher and also find it hard. On some sites she wouldn’t have to put up a profile picture. However she will struggle to chat to people then so will likely have to be prepared to make the first move and also explain straight away roughly why she has no photo. Then when she is comfortable online chatting with someone she can send a photo.

That’s what I have done and have met a few men over the years although it is more difficult. No point going on tinder with no photo!

On pof you can have ‘private images’ which you can share just with one person at a time. Only thing is the calibre of men is varied shall we say and she might struggle to meet someone she is interested in although it is possible to meet professional men on there as some of them are on all the sites.

I work as a GP and live in my local area. There is nothing shameful about wanting to meet a partner, I have used bumble and there are professional intelligent me on there.

should say "live in my practice area" !

I’ve met men with no profile photo for similar reasons (eg uni lecturer and don’t want students taking the piss).

They’ve contacted me and straight away explain their reasons for no photo but do have a link to offer ready to go with an online photo album or photo (not sure what’s best, Flickr with a password or maybe that’s out of date now? Anyway somewhere anonymous - not Facebook or anything like that)

Actually seems to go down quite well as it’s a “nice surprise” that someone has a decent job.

Photo or not, she should be aware there’s lots of loons out there so don’t take it personally - inbox will be full of creeps and weirdos and people with zero social skills but just ignore ignore ignore.

Incidentally maybe it’s just me but I’d definitely offer a look at a photo in my first contact so they could “choose to chat” based on that? Reason being - I’d hate to build up a little chatty rapport then have to go “sorry not happening based on your look”.

thanks some very helpful tips, will pass them on-I think a big psychological hurdle for her is she would rather be approached than have to do the initial contacting

I'm a GP I met my current boyfriend on Tinder. I just kept my profile simple. Never saw any men who I would recognise as patients. There's nothing shameful in it. Oh and tell her to make the first move. My BF "swiped right" and then I just swiped right and immediately messaged him. We've been together nearly 5 months and I've never been happier.

I'm in a similar position. I have a photo but no information on the site. I find a lot of people won't message if there is no photo.

I try to meet up with them fairly soon after talking so I know they are not linked to my job in any way at that first meeting.
Nobody I know through work has messaged me but I have seen people that I recognise including a GP, teachers etc.

she is still not keen to put a photo up, she feels vulnerable as a colleague of hers got stalked by a patient a few years ago and she actually gave up the job(she was married). even if you don't actually see patients on a site(the vast majority of whom would be fine) they may be showing relatives or friends who might know her.

I think there must be a lot of professionals, and possibly celebrities/others in the public eye who must feel this too

I'm a therapist in the NHS and held out OLD for years because of this issue. Ended up joining Tinder, I obviously wouldn't have swiped right on anyone I recognised as a patient but that doesn't mean patients didn't see me on there. Not a lot you can do about that though!

I now live in a different place to where I work so if I became single again it wouldn't be an issue.

just updating for friend again-she is seriously now wanting to try OLD-could anyone advise on sites? she is thinking of match.com-she looked at ourtime for the over 50's but wasn't sure about it

she would like to meet someone who genuinely wants a relationship, 50-65 age range, also professional