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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reported to CAS - need company

3 replies

GigglesForEd · 16/01/2019 21:13

I cant even start to describe my emotional state at the moment. I have 2 DC, 3 and 5.

This morning my DC3 had a monumental tantrum on our way to daycare. It is -15°C, she laid down on the floor and didn't want to move. I forcibly carried her to daycare, and she was screaming and fighting me. For some way I carried her a ross my back, some time on the front, some time upside down, however I was able to carry her, putring her down every minute or so and asking her to walk. But you know tantrums. When we were about 10m away from daycare she dropped to the floor and a busybody who was driving by stopped and started recording me and saying I was deopping my kod to the floor and she was calling the police.

At that moment I wasn't for a driendly chat, so I think I rolles my eyes and got on to daycare. I dropped DC3 off and school called me to go and pick DC5 up asap since he hit another kid... (diagnose of ADHD and lots of behavioural issues at school). I left for school and then called daycare to ask what happened. They told me police came and took my DC3 to hospital and I shoupd meet them there. When I arrived, they told me I can't see my DC3 until the children's aid society (I don't know if this is the name in the UK, but I am not in the UK) investigation is over. They told me the woman didn't provide any video (in the video you could actually see my DC3 was having a tantrum and I was not abusing her!) and that she had a bruise in her cheek. They told me to go home.

I have been divorced for 3 years. We are a high conflict pair, but never ever either of us raised any concerns of abuse. DC have a paeditrician who they see for regular checkups and vaccines. I was the one pushing even through lawyers for my DC5 to attend a psychologist for help worh his behaviour. Now, I am scared to hell. My XH is for sure going to use this (although it is clear that he didn't have concerns when together or in the last 3.5 years he has been fighting me in court - other issues). Also, anything anyone can say that can be misconstrued. For instance DC told me last week that XH tied them to a post with a rope when they go shopping and he leaves and comes to collect them when he is done. Obviously this can't be true (someone would have asked questions for once!) but what if!?

My kids are my life. I have done nothing else than vare for them. I quit my job to be there for DC5 everytime school called. I am there in no more than 10 minutes while it takes over 1h from any of our offices to get to school.

I am lost, and destroyed and anxious and don't know what to do. Cleaning my house loke crazy but also in the middle of a bathroom reno where I dont have floor in half of it. Shit thing, shit timing, shit all. I am also an immigrant and no one to call or talk to. Except my lawyer. I already called and she said I need to wait for a visit from CAS. But am I allowed to see my kids Friday (as per our visiting schedule?) That I still don't even know. I was not allowed ro see her at the hospital. XH was there with DC3 and his girlfriend and I deopped DC5 off (dad's time for the next 2 nights).

OP posts:
GigglesForEd · 16/01/2019 21:17

I cant even rule out this is XH's doing. He has reported me to the revenue agency and to the office of a subsidy I have. Both unfruitful but he is set to destroy me, so as I say, and even if I seem vrazy, I wouldn't rule out him hiring someone to follow me and make claims.

OP posts:
LuluMelons · 16/01/2019 21:17

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I can't quite believe that they would do this to you with no evidence.

GigglesForEd · 16/01/2019 21:36

Well, the busybody said I was dropping my daughter (to me, I don't know what she told the police). The police told me that my DC3 has a bruise in the cheek and they were checking her neck. And I was not allowed to see her. That's all. I don't know if there is more.

I told the daycare provider when I arrived that DD3 was having a crazy morning and a woman had told me she was going ro call the police on me. In the classroom, DD3 didn't want to remove the hat or jacket, etc. and was holding onto me very tight. Teacher held her and told me to go.

I don't know what they are looking for. I hope a bruise in a 3.5 years old doesn't make me an abuser. I have 3 huge ones in my legs and don't even know how I got them. I don't know what else they can find. Maybe some other bruise. And she had a rash two weeks ago that is now gone. I am so scared.

Police also asked my if I had a CAS previous worker and were surprised when I said no, this is the first freaking time I am dealing with this. I take that as a bad sign. Wth!? I am a normal person. Of course I haven't been involved with CAS before. But all is getting too much. Divorce/cheating, court for arrears of child support, court twice for moving schools (brought by XH), financial and emotional drain, and now this. And nobody has called me. Approx 5h later. Left the hospital about 3h ago. I have put all laundry and mess in garbage bags and taken to the basement. Will deal with it later but wanted to clean up if someone is coming.

OP posts:
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