Boyfriend needs support but I feel abandoned

[MidWitch]

Have name changed for this

Have been seeing dp for 7 months. We did have some teething problems (generally around him being a little bit unreliable) but largely we've had a very happy 6 months.

However in October he lost his best friend just after he lost his job. It was a very hard time for him and he withdrew a lot. Only recently has he told me how low he got over that time (we don't live together and see each other once or twice a week).

He has become v fragile. There have been 2 small things I've done recently (misunderstandings) that if he wasn't feeling fragile I don't think he would have reacted to but because he is, he's got hurt and withdrawn again. I feel that I am doing a massive amount of running around him and he has got to the point where he doesn't ask anything about me. For example recently we were both ill, I checked he was ok and he didn't ask once how I was.

I recognise that he's going through a hard time and I don't want to push but I am feeling more and more distant from him. This week he told me he needed to talk and I immediately made myself available and then I decided I needed to speak to him about how I was feeling and told him I needed to talk and he never got back to me. Charitably, I think he may just not be in a position to give anything to me.

I'm just not sure how long I can go on like this. But don't want to be cruel and leave him in his time of need. Any ideas?

Maybe that's what he's hoping for? He's too stressed and down to make the effort, and he just wants to be single.

I would leave him to it, frankly. He's acting as though you're of no importance at all.

Have you tried to speak to him about how unhappy you are? Yes he’s had a difficult time but then it’s not fair to expect you bear the brunt of his misery all the time.

I’d try and speak to him but if he’s not prepared to listen then maybe time to call it a day.

You've only been together 7 months

I'd bail and find someone else for you

If you feel bad you can always keep in touch every so often as friends

Thanks I think you're right :(. It feels incredibly hurtful but I'm getting nothing from it now. I wanted to do the adult thing and speak to him about it but I guess I should just leave it now without a fanfare.

I tried equality - sent him a message saying we needed to talk and he never got back to me!

Oh leave it, OP. He's not interested enough to bother with you.

Ok if you’ve tried to reach out and he’s ignoring you then it’s time to go

OP I’ve literally just started a thread exactly like yours although mine actually had a full on breakdown. As much as he wanted to be with me it was causing him more anguish that he couldn’t be what I needed right now so we’ve agreed to draw a line under it.
It’s killing me I’m no longer there for him but the way it was wasn’t fair on either of us.